How can I stop my friend from falling in love?
I am a 15-year-old girl. I like the way you solve teenagers’ problems and I am sure you will help me in solving my issue. I used to live in a village and studied in a village school till grade 8. A year back, my family moved to Peshawar. Now I am studying in one of the prestigious schools of Peshawar. Guru, my problem is related to my best friend, G. She used to be my classmate in my village school. G still lives there. We are connected via Facebook. My friend is very simple by nature. In fact, village people are generally innocent. Actually, my friend is in love with a guy, U, who happens to be another friend’s brother. First I was shocked but then when she showed his messages to me, (she texted me) I had to believe her.
Guru, I know U. He is flirtatious and careless. On the other hand, my friend is very serious about him. She is my age and this is not her age to fall in love. I am really worried for my friend because she is very innocent.
My friend is like my sister and I don’t want her to get hurt.
I cannot see her wasting her precious time on messaging her boyfriend. She is very happy but she has no idea that she is destroying her life by indulging in such activities. She is playing with fire. Tell me how I can persuade her to leave U. I am mentally disturbed.
Dear Miss Wise,
I am impressed by your immense love and concern for your best friend. You are right; village people are simple by nature. But dear, you should not worry too much about your friend. I know you are sincere with her but there is not much you can do in this case. They say love is blind, and she would not believe you if you say anything negative to her about U. You cannot stop your friend from falling in love, because she is already “fallen” for him. But, actually, she is just going through a phase. Since both U and G are quite young, they have no clue that what they feel is actually infatuation.
Don’t assume negative things about U. Let her take her own sweet time to decide what is good for her. Some people learn the hard way, and it seems your friend is one of them. You can keep advising G in a friendly way. If you are harsh with her, you may lose her friendship forever. And of course you don’t want that. Leave it to time. She will learn her lesson. So, there is no point in disturbing your own peace of mind. Just concentrate on your own life. Good luck!
I don’t understand myself
I am one of your fans and read your column regularly. Life is tough for me in a strange way. I don’t have any love or family problem. My struggle is within me. Actually, I am very confused. I don’t understand myself. I don’t know what makes me happy and what makes me sad. I have been trying hard to figure out things that really disturb me, but I cannot identify them. Similarly, I am clueless about what actually gives me happiness. I don’t know what I want out of life. I think I am going through a phase. Kindly help me by suggesting something that can make me feel better.
Dear Lost Me,
Psychology is an interesting subject. Since it is a study of human mind it helps me a lot in understanding human psyche. It seems like you have a good life and apparently you are not facing any real challenge or problem in your daily life. But sometimes you are fighting with your own self because you have a thinking mind which compels you to think about what makes you happy and what makes you sad. This is a good approach. We all should try to think and reflect on our lives. Most of us are leading an aimless life and we don’t even realize. Now, in order to solve your confusion, you must start thinking rationally, and take practical steps to come out of this state. I suggest you to keep a journal or diary and start writing down all your day to day activities and events. Keep on writing for at least a month and write all about your frustrations and feelings. After a month, read your diary again. Try this practical exercise. I am sure it will help you figure out what actually makes you happy and sad. Good luck!
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