COMIC RELIEF

An imaginary enemy

During a simulated attack, the troops have to defend themselves against an imaginary enemy, as the sergeant calls it.

Bawling out orders, he notices that one recruit shows little response.

“You there,” the sergeant shouts, “the imaginary enemy is advancing, and you are caught in the crossfire. Action!”

The recruit takes ten steps to one side.

“What are you doing, man?” yells the sergeant, purple with fury.

“I’m taking shelter behind an imaginary hill,” answers the recruit calmly.

 

Husband is amazed!

One night, a wife found her husband standing next to their baby’s crib. She watched him quietly.

As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, even skepticism.

Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening, she slipped her arm around her husband and asked, “What happened?”

“It’s amazing!” he replied. “I just can’t figure how anybody can make a crib like that for only $67.50!”

 

Things you’ll never hear a dad say

• Well, how about that? We’re lost! Looks like we’ll have to stop and ask for directions.
• I noticed that all your friends have a certain “up yours” attitude... I like that.
• Here’s a credit card and the keys to my new car — GO CRAZY!
• What do you mean you want to play football? Figure skating isn’t good enough for you, son?
• Your mother and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider throwing a party.
• Well, I don’t know what’s wrong with your car! Probably one of those doohickey thingies — you know — that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
• Why do you need a job? I make plenty of money for you to spend.
• Father’s Day? Ah — don’t worry about that — it’s no big deal!

 

Compiled by Usama Rasheed