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COMIC RELIEF

By Usama Rasheed
Fri, 03, 17

Our staff has completed the three years of work on time and under budget.

The Y-to-K conundrumCOMIC RELIEF

Our staff has completed the three years of work on time and under budget.

We have gone through every line of code in every program and in every system.

We have analysed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change.

We are proud to report that we have completed the “Y-to-K” date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect the following new standards: Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December and...

Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak.

I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y-to-K problem has made any sense to me.

But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible. And what does the year 2000 have to do with it?

Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two-digit year rolls over from 99 to 00?

We await your direction.

 

COMIC RELIEFThe blonde needs training

There was this nouveau riche blonde girl, who went to the nearest Mercedes showroom with a pocketful of dollars, and came out with the latest model.

Half an hour later, she was back at the showroom, claiming that the car they sold her was terrible, that she was disappointed a brand-new Mercedes would get a fault in the gearbox after 15 minutes.

The management apologised and gave her a new car.

Again, after half an hour she came back.

The management offered her a new car, but sent along one of their engineers to see if they could figure out what the problem was.

She put in the first gear... sped up... put in second... third... fourth... fifth...

“And now,” she said, “for the rocket,” and threw it in reverse.

 

Joe is in troubleCOMIC RELIEF

Billy and Joe were huge baseball fans.

One day, both Billy and Joe made a pact that if either of them were to die, they had to come back to the other in the form of a ghost to let the other know if baseball was played in heaven.

Sure enough, Billy dies and eventually comes to Joe one night in the form of a ghost.

A startled Joe realises it is the ghost of his deceased friend and says, “Billy, it is so good to see you... so tell me, is there baseball in heaven?”

“Well,” Billy says, “I have some good news and bad news for ya. First, the good news... Yes, there is baseball in heaven!”

“Thank God!” Joe shouts. “What is the bad news?”

“You’re pitching tomorrow.”

COMIC RELIEF