A man was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instructions, a rifle, and bullets.
The man is absolutely mad
A man was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instructions, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
He looked at his rifle and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, ‘It’s leaving here just fine; the trouble must be at your end!’
Wrong number
A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, ‘Who is this?’ ‘This is the maid,’ answered the woman.
‘We don’t have a maid!’ ‘I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house.’
‘Well, this is her husband. Is she there?’ ‘Ummm...she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband.’
The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, ‘Listen, would you like to make $50,000?’ ‘What do I have to do?’
‘I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot both of them.’
The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone. ‘What should I do with the bodies?’
‘Throw them in the swimming pool!’ ‘What pool?’
‘Uh...is this 832-4173?’
Smart move
My dearest Susan,
Sweetie of my heart.
I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated! Won’t you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill.
I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much.
Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you.
Yours always and truly,
John.
PS: Congratulations on winning the state lottery.
