You don't need to get tensed or pressurized. You are under no obligation to sacrifice your life for your brother's sake. Having said that, you need to deal with the situation very calmly.
My brother is making my life miserable
Salam Guru,
I am a 28-year-old girl. I have done masters in History. I am a teacher by profession and have been teaching for the last six years. I belong to a middle class family. I have two older sisters who got married at a young age and now they are settled with kids. I have one younger brother, aged 26, who works in a multi-national company. He is having an affair with his colleague and they both want to get married. I have no objection to this union, but my parents are worried about me. They kind of feel obligatory to marry me off first. My brother and his girlfriend think of me as an obstacle in their way, so they are eager that I should get married as early as possible and in that quest they are pressurizing my parents to say yes to a proposal of a 45 year-old man who is a divorcee with two kids. Guru, I am in no way going to a man who is much older than me and I am also not ready to accept his children. My brother is only thinking about his happiness. He is very selfish. My parents are also under pressure. They think that I am over age now and won't get a proposal of single man, and this was injected in their mind by my brother. Guru, please tell me what I should do under such circumstances. My brother is making my life miserable.
Tensed Girl
Dear Tensed Girl,
You don't need to get tensed or pressurized. You are under no obligation to sacrifice your life for your brother's sake. Having said that, you need to deal with the situation very calmly. You are a mature girl and no one can force you to get married against your will. You have the right to take one of the most important decisions of your life i.e. marriage. You must muster courage and talk to your parents in order to sort out this issue. Call a family meeting. Tell your parents clearly that you will not mind it if your brother gets married first. Try to persuade your parents with patience and love. Tell them that they should not get worried and have faith in God. You are not over age. These days girls are getting married at the age of 30 to 35. If they agree then your brother will stop trying to pressurize you to marry that guy and you will be able to live in the house peacefully. You are still young and intelligent and I am sure you will get a good match soon. Good luck!
My father is having an affair
Dear Guru,
I am a great fan of your column. I am a 16-year-old boy and I am studying in one of the prestigious schools of Lahore. My father is a landlord so I am used to a luxurious life. I have two other siblings and my mom is a housewife. My father treats her well and apparently she seems happy with my father. But, of late, I have come to know that my father is having an affair with some woman. I got to know this accidently when last week I went to my friend's place where his father threw a big bash. There were so many modern uncle and aunties who were attending the party. And I saw my father there with this gorgeous woman. Of course, my father was clueless of my presence and I also left the place as I did not want to embarrass him in front of everyone. Now, it's been a week and I am still in shock. I don't know what to do. Should I tell my mother about this? But I am also afraid of the consequences. What if they get separated or divorced? Then where will my siblings and I go? My mother is a simple woman and she loves my father blindly. I don't want to break her trust but what if my father marries that woman? I am so confused. Please help.
Confused Boy
Dear Confused Boy,
I can understand your problem but you should not worry about your father. You saw your father at a party with some woman and you assumed that she must be his girlfriend. Maybe she was just a friend or maybe he was actually having an affair. In any case, you have no solid proof that he is having an affair. I advise you to stay out of this matter. Do not discuss it with your mother. It is possible that your mother is aware of all your father's activities and she is ignoring everything purposely. Sometimes, a woman sacrifices and compromises a lot for her marriage, home and children. So, you being a sensible boy, just keep your father's secret to you. Let your mother handle your father. You are too young to understand all this, so just relax. Hopefully, things will turn out for the better. Good luck!
