An 80-year-old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the man is in and asks, How do you stay in such great physical condition?
The super family
An 80-year-old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the man is in and asks, ‘How do you stay in such great physical condition?’
‘I’m Italian and I am a golfer,’ says the old guy, ‘and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and go out golfing up and down the fairways.’
‘Well,’ says the doctor, ‘I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?’
‘Who said my dad’s dead?’
The doctor is amazed. ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your dad’s still alive. How old is he?’ ‘He’s 100 years old,’ says the golfer. ‘In fact, he golfed with me this morning.’
‘Well,’ the doctor says, ‘that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your dad’s dad? How old was he when he died?’
‘Who said my grandpa’s dead?’
Stunned, the doctor asks, ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather is still alive! Incredible! How old is he?’
‘He’s 118 years old,’ says the golfer.
The doctor is getting frustrated at this point. ‘So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?’
‘No. Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married tomorrow.’
At this point, the doctor is close to losing it. ‘Getting married! Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?’
‘Who said he wanted to?’
The lawyer has got the brains
An elderly man, 82, came to know he didn’t have much time to live. So he summons the three most important people in his life: his doctor, his priest and his lawyer. “Well, today I found out I don’t have much time to live. So I need a favour from you all. Today I am going to give each one of you an envelope with $50,000 dollars in it. When I die, I would ask that all three of you throw the money in my grave.”
A few days later the man passed away. The doctor said, “I have to admit I kept $10,000 since he owed me medical bills. But I threw the other $35,000 in the grave.”
The priest said, “I have to admit also I kept $25,000 for the church. It’s all going to a good cause. And I threw the rest in.”
The lawyer just couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I am surprised. I wrote a cheque for the whole amount and threw it in.”
Know your software programmers
At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were asked an awkward question. “If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?’ All of them raised their hands, except for one man who sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard. With his team’s software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
