Neil Renic (@NC_Renic): “AI is coming for your job” – ya I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees then have a panic attack....
Xwit
* Neil Renic (@NC_Renic): “AI is coming for your job” – ya I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees then have a panic attack.
* Beccaface (@beccafacexo): I found my soulmate, now how do I tell him?
Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe): Him: I have been waiting for someone like you for my entire life.
Also him: Lol nevermind.
* ScottW (@jswtreeman): Her: I think Gamblers Anonymous could help you with your gambling problem.
Me: Wanna bet?
* Natalie Would (@_NatalieWould): I could be lost at sea and my knee would still find a table corner.
* Martin Pilgrim (@MartinPilgrim1): The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.
* Case (@Cactuscali1991): I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function and then functioning.
* Darla (@ddsmidt): Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.
Back during the Cold War, Heinrich, who was just drafted into the West German Army, asks his superior, Major Schmitt, for a three-day pass. The major says, “Are you crazy? You just got here last week and you’re already asking for a pass? Those aren’t just given out to anyone. They must be earned!”
So Heinrich leaves dejected but comes back a day later driving a brand-new Soviet tank! Major Schmitt is very impressed, and says, “For that act of bravery, you are getting your three-day pass. By the way, how did you do this by yourself?”
“Well”, says Heinrich, “I jumped into one of our tanks and drove to the East German border. When I got there, I saw an East German soldier sitting alone in this tank. I waved a white flag. He waved a white flag. We met right at the border, and I asked him, ‘Do you want to get a three-day pass?’. He said ‘sure’, so we swapped tanks!”
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” – Mae West
