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COMIC RELIEF

By US Desk
Fri, 09, 24

Wife [across the table]: This relationship would have gone differently if you had corn on the cob on our first date....

COMIC RELIEF

* John Collins (@HolyDalek): “Knock, knock.“

“Who’s there?”

“The doorbell repair man.”

* Bob Phillips (@BobTheSuit): My idiot life in three easy steps:

1. Order extra ranch

2. Forget to use it

3. Spread it around on plate so waitress doesn’t get mad at me

* Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix): Me: [eating corn on the cob]

Wife [across the table]: This relationship would have gone differently if you had corn on the cob on our first date.

* Hollie Harris (@allholls): *looks at recipe prep time*: 10 minutes

*two hours later*

Me: LIAR!

* Kip Conlon (@kipconlon): If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Laugh lines

Worrywart

COMIC RELIEF

Jack had been a compulsive worrier for years, to the point it was ruining his life. He saw a psychologist who recommended a specialist who could help him. His friend, Bob, noticed a dramatic change and asked “What happened? Nothing seems to worry you anymore.”

“I hired a professional worrier and I haven’t had a worry since,“ replied Jack.

“That must be expensive,“ Bob said.

“He charges $5,000 a month,“ Jack told him.

“$5,000!!? How in the world can you afford to pay him?” exclaimed Bob.

“I don’t know,” said Jack, “that’s his problem.”

COMIC RELIEF


POINTS TO PONDER

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” – Napoleon Bonaparte

COMIC RELIEF