I want to resume my studies
First of all, I would like to thank you; it’s because of your guidance that I was able to improve my English. I am a 28-year-old guy. I belong to a lower middle-class family. I couldn't pursue my studies after intermediate due to financial reasons. I have been reading Us magazine since my school days and it has helped me a lot in enhancing my language skills. I am now working in a software house as a data entry operator. Guru, I want to resume my studies as I am interested in web development and want to upgrade my skills and that is only possible if I study further. But the problem is that I am married and am living in a joint family. I hardly get any time for my studies. I also have a child who needs my attention and time too. I am also facing financial issues. Unless I study further, I won’t be able to get promotion or increment. Please tell me what should I do?
Man in Trouble
Dear Man in Trouble,
Thanks for appreciating Us magazine and my column. It’s commendable on your part that you want to study further so that you can improve your skills and later on progress in life. I know it’s not easy to study when you are married and have other responsibilities, but if you really want to achieve your goals then you have to work twice as hard. Have you talked to your wife about resuming your studies? I think you should take her in confidence. You really need her support at this time. She can take care of the house chores and her child and you can focus on your studies. Since you work in mornings, you can take admission in evening classes or you can enrol yourself as a private candidate. You are still young and healthy and now is the right time to move forward. Just be persistent in your efforts. The next few years might be difficult for you. You may also have to cut down on your social engagements and your wife can represent you on family functions and engagements. So, a lot also depends on your wife – how cooperative and understanding she is. However, once you have achieved your desired goals, you will be able to lead a comfortable and happy life with your family. Good luck!
My sister-in-law is creating problems in our home
I am a big fan of your advice column. Though I live in Saudi Arabia, I still read your column online. I have two married brothers. They all live in a joint family in Pakistan. About five months ago I got married. I came on vacations for few weeks in order to get married and then resumed my job in Saudi Arabia. My wife lives in Pakistan with my mother and my two brothers and their wives. Guru, the problem is that my older brother's wife is very aggressive and fussy. She constantly argues with others over trivial issues. Now, she has issues with my wife and she has banned her from entering into the kitchen which is shared by all of us. My sister-in-law has openly told my mother that she does not want to live in a joint family any longer. We all are very upset because of her rude behaviour. We all wanted to live in one home but now it seems difficult as my sister-in-law has created so much rift in the house. I don’t know what to do.
Mr in Agony
Dear Mr in Agony,
Well, I guess your sister-in-law is right to a certain extent. It’s every woman’s dream to have her own kitchen and what she is demanding is justified. However, the way she is behaving with your family, especially with your wife, is not appropriate. She can be polite and courteous. She does not have to be rude with her in-laws in order to be heard. I think it’s about time you all think of having your separate homes and live in peace. What’s the point of living together when there are rifts in the house? You should persuade your mother to let your sister-in-law have her own home. There is nothing to be upset about. It’s the circle of life. And instead of thinking about your sister-in-law, you should focus on your own marriage. You are newly married and in the initial years of marriage, it’s very important to know your partner. Since you already live abroad, you should call your wife there. Start processing her visa so that she can come to Saudi Arabia and live with you comfortably instead of bearing her sister-in-law’s unnecessary taunts. Good luck!
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