From ancient history to the most current, so much has been written on the subject of leadership. The focus is invariably on what to do to become the best of the leaders. The qualities to be acquired to achieve stardom status of being an effective leader, is the premise of most leadership titles. The knowledge, expertise and wisdom necessary for being recognised as a great leader -this is and has been the focus.
From ancient history to the most current, so much has been written on the subject of leadership. The focus is invariably on what to do to become the best of the leaders. The qualities to be acquired to achieve stardom status of being an effective leader, is the premise of most leadership titles. The knowledge, expertise and wisdom necessary for being recognised as a great leader -this is and has been the focus.
In this piece, I would like to dwell on the not so obvious things leaders do, which actually, they must not do. So this is not about, “what to do” but is directed on “what shouldn’t be done” by managers and leaders. Many leaders and managers just become oblivious to the effect they cause upon their team members, through actions and words, they most likely, may not (?) intend to invoke.
It is just that some basics of dealing with human nature are completely overlooked or are deliberately obliterated from their tool book of management, under the guise of “professionalism”. In the business world there is a huge dearth of guidelines when it comes to identifying the opposite of ‘what to do’.
There is lack of serious material or research on what leaders, who wish to be recognised, should ‘not do’. The exception is political history, where by deduction from the theory of winning or losing a war or a battle, there is room to arrive at a conclusion of what a good leader/commander-in-chief mustn’t do. The difference between Napoleon of Marengo and the Napolean of Moscow, is that “critical” decision, when in attacking Moscow, he chose the wrong season/month (by the way, he did not lose because he did not make a U-turn, but because as a brilliant military strategist, he timed his “retreat”(repeat, retreat is not a U-turn), a bit too late!
Leaders/managers love their voice. They speak beyond the necessity. They sermonise. They preach. Since, they consider, themselves as gift to mankind, they in there foolishness of being over smart, offer unsolicited advices, suggestions and recommendations, on all or any subject under the Sun. When the manager loves himself, he is never alone. This indulgence is a lifelong romance. Self love is the best veil available to draw over the faults. George Eliot says, “He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow”. Since the manager loves his ‘crowing’ all the time, he is usually in a speech mode. To the audience of coworkers, it is awesomely irritating - stop sermonising. Stay focused, with brevity.
Stop lecturing. Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know (Lao Tzu). As managers, it is best to choose discretion over eloquence, always. Managers and leaders must train themselves to hold in their mouth a thrifty tongue. Instead of braying, assault upon coworkers with silence. It has a magical effect. Silence can never be an embarrassment, but speech is loaded with that potentiality. Some wise writer in 1860, wrote an essay “In the conduct of life”, where it is remarked, “conversation is an art in which a man has all mankind for his competitors, for it is that, which all are practicing, everyday which they live”. Do not ever lose self control, patience and politeness; those who do not pay attention to a calm composure fail to achieve. Do not pay respect to noise around yourself by losing self-restraint. Stop lecturing. Preachers and sermonisers can never hear themselves. Stop being one.
A gossip is one who talks to you about others; a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself (Lisa Kirk in The American Journal). Take a problem to your manager and then he goes off recounting how he had handled this issue at hand years before, how he had to produce a solution himself with no help, etc -offering nothing to the poor solution-seeker, who has chosen to knock at his door, with hope. Most managers are either a gossip or a major bore. A leader is one, who will inspire you by talking not about himself but others. Wonder, why most of us, when at our work stations forget that it is the ability of ‘listening’ that will most likely save us from making our inventory of ignorance, a domain of public knowledge. The vague generality in conversation is safer.
Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice (William Shakespeare in Hamlet). Listen more, talk less. Be a guide, not a “corporate mother -in -law” (no gender disrespect is intended). Stop finding faults. Stop the taunting nuances in conversation with colleagues. Distinguish between humor and cutting sarcasm.
Don’t attempt to be ’little tin god’. Let there be no presumption of being better than others. Adam Smith wrote, “He is a bold surgeon, they say, whose hand does not tremble when he performs an operation upon his own person; and he is often equally bold who does not hesitate to pull off the mysterious veil of self-delusion, which covers from his view the deformities of his own conduct”.
Isocrates, the Athenian rhetorician wrote to the son upon demise of a close friend, “No adornment so becomes you as modesty, justice and self control; for these are the virtues by which, as all men are agreed, the character of the young is held in restraint”. Don’t run amok in the organisations, with a bloated head, that urges you to behave like a demigod. No you are not.
Stop nagging. After having assigned a task, give a decent time to receive the feedback. Don’t breath down the neck of subordinates. It irritates. Some managers deploy the card of being effective in the “follow-up.” They actually end up being a pain in a wrong place. Give room and space to colleagues, productivity is then certain. That is so because, the manager, the fly on the wheel, would never stop overestimating himself. I encountered a supervisor who was, I believe smitten by love at first sight of himself -he was voraciously and vociferously in love with himself, which love remained faithful to him, till the end of his career.
Do managers and leaders brag? Yes, they do. Is it good? No, stop bragging. Stop drawing comparison how great you are or were in relation to others in similar capacities and position. I mentioned to a young colleague, I am thinking of writing a piece on what leaders shouldn’t do. The colleague inquired, “What does it relate to? “ I said, “… managers love and like to brag, etc, etc, etc”. The colleague said, “But sir, you do so too and are soundly guilty of it” I said, “… Pray, tell me when was the last time you found me bragging?” I was reminded that in the course of a meeting with senior colleagues, I had asked what books you were reading these days. There was a silence from the audience. I picked on a participant and asked, “Do you read any book at all?” The victim answered, “Can’t find time”. I then berated him for the next ten minutes (politely!) but publicly a case of indirect insult. The young colleague did not stop there. It was recalled to me that I said, “… At the stage of life, age and responsibility I am; I find time to read, so how come, you can’t?” I understand, I sounded boastful of how good I was in the management of time. I was so full of myself. It is another matter that I had no such intent. But importantly the audience thought otherwise, and here a young colleague, was holding the mirror to me! In defense, I said, it was to provoke a positive action, but my young colleague just said, “Your attempts to play parent, all the time, are a waste of time. Why can’t you be a true professional?” I faced silence, when I sought the definition of who is considered a “professional”. I have left a request with this colleague to think over the weekend, the meaning and definition of a “professional”.
Most of us think we are good. A colleague has repeatedly said this to me, “I am good. You know. Of course, I am good! Why are you smiling? Ain’t I good?” As a principle of life, I don’t break hearts …. So he lives, because he is good.
Being a little self-effacing, I would tend to think, will not reduce either the associated power of the office or cause injury to health.
Let’s learn to manage, by not doing, what shouldn’t be done.
The writer is a freelance columnist
