MANAGEMENT
Gratitude is an amazing trait found in men and animals. Its manifestation is different in each of the specie. A cat or any four-legged would find expression of gratitude by twirling around your feet. Some humans try to do that but that is not gratitude, it is something else. True human gratitude is to never expect return of an act of kindness but that stage is in the uppermost realm of human behaviour, and therefore is not found in abundance. Gratitude is always in short supply.
A certain quota of inner spirituality is an absolute necessity to possess the right quality of the sense of gratitude. Its expression is not provoked by the stature of the recipient; in fact, it is predominantly held out to all and sundry, regardless of whether the person is a VVIP or an ordinary fellow human being.
Those who are not in quest of self importance will invariably express gratitude, with intent not to please to whom it is being conveyed but because this act gives pleasure to their own selves. Such discover the art of the management of expectations. They keep it under a tight leash and continually harness it, towards positivity. Human behaviour exhibits, voluntarily and involuntarily an individual’s thought, the mental make up the inherent nature and above all, it indicates what the ego has been fed with over long years.
Those who unhesitatingly say ‘thank you’ are blessed. These are persons who have made their negative ego subservient and subdued to the internally blessed goodness of heart. Saying ‘thankyou’ is in your hands and wanting to hear a, thankyou is not.
Saying ‘thanks’ can give you unimaginable happiness. And it is not difficult to acquire and practice the art of expressing gratitude to its perfection. We can’t demand a thank you but nothing stops us from saying it to others. It is in our hands to seek satisfaction by saying the magical ‘thank you’.
The presence of negative ego is a major impediment in the development of the habit to express gratitude. The ‘I’ in some personalities is so dominant that it refuses to often yield to the intrinsic natural tendency to say thanks. Only managers with very low esteem of themselves will refuse to say thanks to colleagues both seniors and juniors alike.
Expression of thanks is in more than one way of conveying of feeling respect for others- which you find their (co-workers) delivery of work, as acceptable and admired. No recipient of thanks would not find himself elated, leading to still better performance at work.
Never indulge to debate the effect of your thank you upon others- you may just ruminate and wrongfully imagine that the recipient’s chest and cheek would swell- so you may decide not to thank. To the contrary say thanks and feel good. To expect thanks is to lead oneself to nowhere except towards negative tendencies.
The president of the institution where I started my career in one of the meetings and at the very start of it, asked, “...by show of hands tell me how many of you actually said, ‘thanks’ to your other half, for serving you coffee at breakfast?” The audience was puzzled and baffled on how a business meeting was being initiated!
Since I was a young bachelor who had made his own version of coffee wasn’t choked, embarrassed or even blushing; only a few, in fact very few, hands went up- they alone know if they had truthfully put up their hands. The president remarked, I now understand why you do not say ’thanks’ to our office tea lady, who with so much of love, care and affection, serves us each day. The comment was an avalanche that undid all my senior colleagues. The president took a seemingly long pause and returned to business on table albeit with a visible sign of distraught. But next day onwards everybody on the office floor was falling over each other to say ‘thanks’ to our tea leady at the office; to her complete amusement of this overnight change. But that it cheered her up, immensely was noticeable. I can only wonder if the colleagues had also begun in earnest to say thanks to their better halves.
Acceptance and admission of a small error of not saying thanks too often, can save you from bigger mistakes. Thank your children when they serve you water or takeoff your shoes, in affection and appreciation, of your duty towards them- see the positive energy that such acts release and illuminate your homes.
Meet disrespect with brimming respect. Receptive negative feelings with obstinate positivity of action and reaction. Repulse negative feelings with obstinate positivity of action and reaction. Repulse bad with goodness. Don’t shy ever to say ‘thanks’ to your tormentor, if any, at the work place. Your reactions create a new personality of the person you are dealing with. Did you say thank you to the office boy who carried your brief case to the car? No! Do it, first thing tomorrow. Set the ball rolling overtime it will convert to being your second nature.
An organisation is fine when good folks are within. Thanking is a virtuous act; and virtue joins man to God. And a good heart conquers ill fortune. Sow virtue and reap fame.
Acknowledgement of contribution makes the co-worker or even members of the family, glue together, each begins to appreciate the presence and contribution of every single member. “The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.” (Thomas Jefferson).
“When I am not thanked at all I am thanked enough, I have done my duty and I have done no more,” (Henry Fielding-Tom Thumb). The more you thank the closer you get to people. Expressing thanks adds positivity to the conversation between colleagues and a great deal of compassion to the relationship. It also reflects each other’s view of the value, they attribute to each contribution towards the overall good of the organisation and its progress.
A good and enlightened supervisor will use, saying of thanks as a major motivational tool. It is reported that the gorgeous and angelic faced, Princess Diana used to on daily basis sign ‘thank you notes and cards’ in excess of 500; and she signed in ink each of them. No she did not use facsimile signatures ever. No wonder she exuded amazing magnetic pull towards herself. She left no choice to anyone, except to like and adore her. It is little wonder that she continues to live in the hearts of millions across all continents. “Bee sips honey from flowers and hum their thanks when they leave/ the gaudy butterfly is sure that the flowers owe thanks to him.” (Rabindernath Tagore)
Never be vexed by the one who ought to have said thanks. But never fail to say thanks to those who expect or not.
President Abraham Lincoln was one day going over to his residential flank through the garden porch. His aides inclusive of the secretary were with him, alongside. On the way the gardener who was tending to some plants on seeing the president stood up and bowed a little to convey respect. The president in respect took off his cap and also bowed to the gardener as an expression of ‘thanks’ for keeping the white house gardens so elegant and enchanting. Said the ever watchful secretary to Abraham Lincoln, sir you are the president, I cannot appreciate and understand your humility towards the lowly gardener.
Abraham Lincoln, immediately retorted, “in any other field I can be ranked second, third or even fourth but in giving respect I always want to be number one”. Abraham wasn’t a Muslim, but he had in him all qualities that our faith demands of us!
No act done to seek thanks is not worthy to be thanked. Thanking must become a natural habit, as close to as a rose that doesn’t even know its fragrance. Encourage a culture of saying ‘thanks’ to colleagues and harvest the benefits of increased dedication and productivity.
The writer is a senior banker and a freelance columnist
