MANAGEMENT
Good manners can never be out of fashion. The rules and norms relating to manners and etiquette are time tested and are universal in nature. They co-extend beyond any and all real or imaginary boundaries. All societies encourage inculcation and adoption of good manners and behaviour. So, good manners are there to stay. But does everybody remain conscious of it in the everyday life? Nay.
We hear from generation to generation that there has been a consistent and continuous decline in the general standard of human behaviour. All have heard ‘...in our times, we would dare not do this, say this, etc,’ so, has human kind over the centuries been on the decline of moral and social standards? Perhaps, yes. The alternation to good manners has been possibly the consequence of the rapid pace of technological progress. Isn’t the cell phone, the SMS texting and the ever growing social media, a reason for the decline- no child today considers it to be an indication of ill mannerism when he or she, while talking to parents are simultaneously responding to text messages to not one but multiple people in multiple group chats! I know for sure that my dad would have considered it as inappropriate behaviour if I would not listen to him, with total abandon to all other things except focusing on what was being said alongside perfect eye contact.
We witness all around today the rude drivers, the unmanageable badly-trained and misbehaving children and the many finger pointing persons. The loss of good behaviour to progress in technology is the reason which encapsulates that each one of us under the garb of the misleading concept of ‘multitasking’ pays no attention and heed to basic norms of courtesies. So if discourteous behaviour is the standard of the society why would the corporate corridors experience a different behavioural standard both in lingua and action?
The changing lifestyles ought naught to make us lower our standards of good behaviour. Good behaviour triumphs over all obstacles, impediments and challenges in life. If the new tech savvy generation that is growing up on Facebook, Twitter, Google, Snapchat, and all other such mediums of engagement, believes that the decline in behaviour is synonymous with enlightenment; this view and path is perilous. Even in being critical here, I am wishing to emphasise on the need for good behaviour more out of grief than anger.
Blessed I have been for a major part of my working life to have worked with people of impeccable manners. They always kept in focus the injunction, never talk of others what you could not talk to them. They never spoke ill of a person not present. “The childhood shows the man, as morning shows the day,” wrote John Milton. Each person is an emissary and an ambassador to his family. He represents his parentage- isn’t that a very serious and precious turf to protect?
The absence of pride and arrogance will dictate a manager’s manners. It is so negatively impactful upon a team when the supervisors punish the team with ill behaviour based on arrogance of knowledge and skill. Upon non-fulfilment of a task in a situation of low quality output, the ill-mannered will spare no sarcasm to inflict wounds with long term damaging ramifications upon colleagues. In fact, over time ill mannerism becomes part and parcel of a manager’s life if it remains unchecked.
Manner, good manners are planted in childhood years, but they gather strength and are cultivated over time. “Manners are not idle but the fruit of loyal nature and noble mind” (Alfred Tennyson). In my personal experience, those who read voraciously, history, literature, poetry, and read a load of them, always tend to carry a very high standard of good behaviour. They can never be rude or discourteous. Behaviour must mirror the doctrines cherished and followed. In such development of the personality, it will be witnessed that the display of manners will always be spontaneous and never pre-meditated. Good behaviour is by far more superior to good physical look and appearance.
Hazrat Ali Ibn e Abi Talib (RA) observed, “A man’s behaviour is the index of the man, and his discourse is the index of his understanding.” Better unborn than un-bred! It is the medium of manners through which gets exhibited a person’s inner image. Good manners come around more by upbringing and not merely by principles.
As supervisors, who are constantly, within the capture of the eyes of the camera (ie colleagues), there has to be recognition that much credibility is at stake if there is any variation between what is said and what is done - a disparity in this puts severe dents into the respect for the words of the manager. Supervisor’s manners must represent human behaviour and he should not be the roaring lion, in his natural habitat. The shop floor can’t be a jungle. It is said, never give tongue to your angry state.
Some managers take pride in brow beating their colleagues by speaking in very loud tones- such believe that a high decibel level in organisation will win them the case or argument. Shabby thought. Unacceptable behaviour! In discussing work-related issues, a clear distinction must remain that it is not a university declamation contest. The purpose that it is not to win an argument but it is to solve a situation. Some supervisors in such circumstances love to throw the weight of their positional power.
A courteous manager will speak to his colleagues in a language of affection and not venom injecting parlance. A spoonful of honey will invite and catch more colleagues towards you than a gallon of acetic acid (vinegar).
No well brought up manager would ever resort to using expletives in conversations; will not thump the table to intimidate or even better would never utter the unthinkable, ‘do you know, who is the boss?’ All colleagues know for sure who is the boss! So avoid its reaffirmation. It just doesn’t help. Any act that causes anxiety is reflection of ill-mannered behaviour and any act that soothes your inner person is reflective of good manners and good upbringing. Nature and good manners maketh a man. Courtesy is the inseparable companion of virtue. No manager should forget that civility costs nothing. There is need to be mindful that courteous manners have to be matched by great talent, otherwise it is likely to be seen as plain beggary. Nobility and humility are not distant cousins but Siamese twins.
Good behaviour is never alone; the practitioner will have many neighbours; only if one is careful to do on the hill as you would do in the hall. Practice and not merely possess virtue of good manners. Politeness of soul must become pronounced in action. Be sure that investment in developing good manners will never give negative yields.
A well-behaved and good mannered manager knows that their occasional faults and omissions are dis-liked but never mistrusted. Such managers are the pillars of the organisation. As an Urdu poet mentioned, “sham e khirad, khayal kay anjum, jigar ke dagh, jitney chiragh hain teri mehfil say aaye hain”; loosely translated into English it means, “the glowing candle of intellect, the stars that illuminate the mind, the passion that burns in the heart- all these lamps have borrowed their light from thy congregation (mehfil)”.
Conduct, good conduct, reflects strong personality, the vivacity of inner spirit a reservoir of overflowing energy, a deep insight in solving problems and the endearing attractive manners- leave a man brave to face boldly managerial challenges with the highest ideals of humanism.
Manners that reflect personal integrity, lofty idealism, faith in the corporate values and objectives always command unqualified respect. Saying ‘good bye’ at your desk against escorting to the exit leaves a diametrically opposite impact on the visitor, by walking those few paces with your visitor you indicate to them who you are. What family you belong to. And what organisation you work for.
Good upbringing allows handling praise with grace. (What about handling insult?). The higher the ill-bred people climb the corporate ladder, the more obvious become their inadequacies- the higher the ape goes the more he shows his tail.
As managers we are required to live and lead as our followers expect, not as we are. Those possessed with good manners are fearless, morally, socially and intellectually. They are neat and tidy. No confusion in their work or in their mind.
For achieving excellence in manners and conduct, we must read, re-read and read repetitively the biography of the Prophet (PBUH) and his progeny.
The writer is a senior banker and freelance columnist
