First they came for the anti-nationals, but I did not speak out — because I’m not an anti-national only! I believe in what Anu Malik sang in Judwaa (1997) — “East or West, India is the best.” Then Arnab Goswami said that we should go to war, and I said, haan, tell me where and when, because I can only do it after my face pack dries. Then they told me the multani mitti on my face was also anti-national, because Multan is in Pakistan! So I took it off and now I’m applying a concoction that I’ve made from shhudh desi mitti.
ForeignEditorial
Arnab Goswami said that we should go to war, and I said, haan, tell me where and when, because I can only do it after my face pack dries.
First they came for the anti-nationals, but I did not speak out — because I’m not an anti-national only! I believe in what Anu Malik sang in Judwaa (1997) — “East or West, India is the best.” Then Arnab Goswami said that we should go to war, and I said, haan, tell me where and when, because I can only do it after my face pack dries. Then they told me the multani mitti on my face was also anti-national, because Multan is in Pakistan! So I took it off and now I’m applying a concoction that I’ve made from shhudh desi mitti.
But when they came for Fawad Khan, it was too much, I tell you. Accha khasa munda, looking good with beard and when clean-shaven also, I was shocked when they said that single-screen theatres in Mumbai won’t show Ae Dil Hai Mushkil. But that is what I’m also saying, na! If it were so easy to get Fawad out of my system, I would have — but who to look at these days? Hrithik Roshan was our Greek god but all he’s doing now is fighting with a crocodile in Mohenjo Daro. (That is also in present-day Pakistan, I Googled.)
You tell me, how do we get Pakistan out of our system? By getting their film, Jago Hua Savera, out of our film festival? Pointless it is. That film would have been shown at some odd time in some odd hall in the morning or afternoon, and only “serious” people would have gone to see it — plus, Fawad is not in it, so where is the risk of causing danger? After giving it some thought, I have to admit that so many things about Pakistan are better. Number one is Fawad.
Then, their Coke Studio is much better than ours. In ours, woh feeling only doesn’t come. They even have Taher Shah, the only angel on the planet to rock a purple bath robe! Shahid Afridi is coming out with his autobiography soon and I will buy it only for the photos — if he’s eternally 16 years old, so am I.
And Pakistan is not listening only. After our surgical strike, they’ve fired another missile on social media. Have you seen their chaiwala? Hai rabba, so much thirst I was feeling. To calm down, I listened to some Mehdi Hassan today. Should I apologise? What exactly am I supposed to do? It’s like Pakistan has told me, mohabbat karney waaley kam na hongey…teri mehfil mein leikin, hum na hongey.
Courtesy:indianexpress.com
