Should I apologise to him?
Hi Guru,
I am a 16-year-old girl studying in 10th grade. I read your column regularly; I even sent you a few problems not too long ago and they worked like a charm, so thank you for your help. Now another issue has arisen. I used to chat occasionally with a boy in my class and we would mostly talk about studies. I made sure I wasn’t too frank with him. Since I am a class prefect, he asked for my help with his application, and I did. For that, he sent me a thank you message. What I found strange was that he also wrote ‘I love you’. I reacted strongly. and told him firmly not to send such messages again. I had this feeling that he liked me, but I did not do anything to encourage him.
He apologized, but I was so furious at that time that I stopped talking to him and also un-friended him from my Facebook. This happened a few weeks ago. Now, I have realised that I overreacted and was a little rude to him. It’s my last year in school and with my class fellows; I don’t want to leave things on a bitter note. Should I apologise to him? What do you suggest?
Prefect Girl
Dear Prefect Girl,
I am so happy that you have realised your mistake. Yes, you are right; you overreacted and your reaction was quite harsh. You could have told him politely that you don’t like such things, or simply that you are not interested. He was not a stranger - he was a friend. He did not do anything cheap or offensive. He just tried to give you a hint that he had feelings for you. Since he is a decent guy, he apologised for writing you a love message. So, now that you have cooled down, you must apologise to him for your rude behaviour. In fact, if you want, you can still be friends with him. Whether you want to take this friendship to another level or not is entirely your decision. Good luck!
Confidential
Dear Confused Scorpio,
Hats off to your mom who has been living patiently with your father just for the sake of her children. She is a courageous woman who is working selflessly to give her children a decent living and education. It’s very unfortunate that your father does not appreciate your mother and treats her badly. Men like him are ungrateful, have shallow egos and they havedouble standards.
Now, your current problem, which is related to your young maid, is quite tricky. You cannot really trust her unless you have some proof; neither can you totally ignore her accusation about your father. The best thing to do is to wait and observe. Watch your maid’s movements silently and also observe your father’s behaviour with her. If you are really confused and cannot decide who is guilty and who is innocent then talk to your mother about it since she knows her husband inside out. I know it will be nothing short of mentaltorture for her but then you are too young to handle this sensitive issue on your own, and you definitely need your mother’s wise advice. She has been living with your father for many years and a wife knows her husband better than anyone else. So I suggest you leave it to her to handle. Let’s see what course of action she decides to take. Good luck!
I want to speak English
Dear Guru,
I am a 16-year-old boy, and I study in a prestigious college in Peshawar. Guru, I am quite well-versed in written English, but when it comes to spoken English I get confused. Whenever my teachers ask me any question or talk to me I start stammering and forget what I want to say. I study hard and my vocabulary is also good but somehow when it’s time to converse in English I forget most words. I want to speak English fluently. Please tell me what I should do.
Confused Edwardian
Dear Confused Edwardian,
Your problem is a common one. Many students, despite being bright, find it difficult to communicate in English. The reason being that their mother tongue is not English. It also depends on one’s environment. If you are raised in an English-speaking environment, then you also start speaking English automatically. But if one is not used to such an environment, then one has to make a conscious effort to learn the language. Similar is the case with you. I suggest that you start talking in English with your family members and friends. Since you will be comfortable with them, you will find it easy to talk to them without any embarassment. This will also boost your confidence and you will be speaking fluently in no time. Since your vocabulary is good, all you need is some practice.
Good luck!
