Once there was a bartender who claimed he was the strongest man on earth and that he could squeeze every drop of juice out of a lemon. He bet $10,000 that no one could squeeze anymore out of a lemon than him.
Board of Revenue knows how to squeeze
Once there was a bartender who claimed he was the strongest man on earth and that he could squeeze every drop of juice out of a lemon. He bet $10,000 that no one could squeeze anymore out of a lemon than him. People came in from all over the country - body builders, weightlifters, wrestlers, or anyone who wanted to try. But no one could squeeze anymore juice out of the lemons. Then one day a little, nerdy-looking guy walked in and everyone laughed at him when they heard he was there to try squeezing a lemon. So the bartender squeezed a lemon into a cup and handed him what was left over. Then the guy squeezed out six more drops of juice, and everyone was amazed!
“What do you do for a living?” they would ask, “Are you a weightlifter, a body builder?”
“No”, he replied. “I work for the Board of Revenue.”
Came, spent, gone
A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. “Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!”
“I did? What did I tell you?” asked the dad.
“You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble.”
“What are you talking about? That’s one of the largest banks in the state,” he said. “There must be some mistake.”
“I don’t think so,” she sniffed. “They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, ‘Insufficient Funds’.”
Word of the day
A kindergarten teacher spent a few minutes each morning teaching a new word to her class. She would tell the class the word and its meaning and then ask them to come up with a few sentences that included the word of the day.
One day the teacher said that the word of the day was “frugal”. She explained that frugal had to do with saving, and a frugal person is one who saves. She then asked the class to come up with a sentence for the word. The class seemed kind of stumped, and sat there in silence for a few seconds until one little girl raised her hand. Instead of just a sentence, she came up with a little story: “There once was a princess who was stuck in a tall tower.
There was a spell on all of the doors, so she couldn’t get out.
One day she heard a young prince who was walking by and singing.
The princess called out of the tower, ‘Frugal me! Frugal me!’
So, the prince frugaled her and they lived happily ever after.”
