I am a 19-year-old girl living in Lahore. I am in my last year of A-levels. Since I am doing A - Levels as a private student, I attend a tuition academy for my preparations.
I can’t stop thinking about him
Dear Guru,
I am a 19-year-old girl living in Lahore. I am in my last year of A-levels. Since I am doing A - Levels as a private student, I attend a tuition academy for my preparations. There was this guy in my academy whom I have liked since day one. He was tall and handsome and was very popular among girls. I also noticed that he was interested in me. One day he asked me to go out with him. I was happy but I turned down his offer as I don’t like the idea of dating. However, after my rejection, he stopped coming to the academy.
It’s being a while that he has left the academy but I still miss him. I don’t regret my decision but somehow I want him to come back. Guru, I know I am the one who rejected him but honestly I can’t stop thinking about him. I spend so much time cyber stalking him and wondering what I would say if I ever meet him again even though I know that’s not going to happen. Guru, what do you think I should do?
M. Khan
Dear M. Khan,
Actually, you are a victim of the hypocrisy prevalent in our society where people want something else and do something else out of societal pressures. You liked that guy, you were attracted towards him, but when he asked you to go out, you simply turned him down because it was embedded deeply in your mind that dating was wrong. However, if you did not like the idea of dating then you should not have enticed him in the first place. He approached you only when he was encouraged by you. Instead of rejecting him outrightly, you could have talked to him in a friendly manner and could have told him that you would love to go out with him but you have your own limitations. May be he would understand your point of view and then the two of you could enjoy a platonic relationship. But when he got a cold response from you he left the academy quietly.
Now that he has gone, you want him to come back. Girl, you seriously need to sort out what do you actually want? You are so confused. On one hand you want him and then on the other hand you don’t want to be romantically involved with him. If you really love him, then send him a sorry note; try to make him understand your point of view. If he comes back to you, good for you and if he doesn’t then it’s your tough luck. Anyway, don’t feel up set and concentrate on your studies as this is the right time to work hard and make your future. Good luck!
I am attracted to older men
Salaam Guru,
I am a 20-year-old girl. I am doing 4-year diploma course in Fine Arts in one of the best art schools of Karachi. This is my third year. I am a natural artist and my teachers really appreciate my work. My friends say that I am very talented and will go places. I also happen to be quite good looking and so many boys are interested in me. But honestly speaking, I don’t like boys. It’s not that opposite sex doesn’t attract me. Actually I am attracted to older men. Boys of my age are so immature. In fact I don’t want to marry a young chap, I would like to marry a mature man who is in his 40s. My ideal man should look like George Clooney or Richard Grey. I have seen all their movies. And my favourite is ‘Pretty Woman’. I am very romantic but I have kept all my emotions reserved for some ‘special man’. Guru, there is this new art teacher in our school. He must be around 44. He is very charming and the best part is that he is still single. He has already made place in my heart. Guru, do you think I should approach him? I want to spend my life with someone like him. What do you suggest?
Dream Girl
Dear Dream Girl,
You are an idealistic girl which limits your way of looking at the world. Many girls are attracted to older men as they have impressive personalities. However, you need to keep that in mind that reel life is different from real life. It’s not necessary that all love stories have the same end as ‘Pretty Woman’. You are still young to decide what’s good for you. You are impressed by your teacher primarily for his looks and the way he talks but you don’t know a thing about his real personality. You are not even sure whether he is attracted towards you or not. I suggest you to stop thinking about him and pay attention to your work. And marry someone who reciprocates your feelings. Good luck!
