Letters

I am a 30-year-old guy. I work in a private firm and earn quite well. Three years ago, I met a girl, D, at my cousin’s house and for me it was love at first sight. I asked my cousin for her contact number, and after getting permission from her, my cousin gave me her cell number. I called her and shared my feelings with her and told her that I wanted to send my proposal for her. At that time, I had started my job at an entry level position, so I wasn’t earning that well. I explained everything to her. She told me she was impressed that I did not try to flirt with her and offered her marriage. She said that she also liked me a lot, and agreed to marry me but wanted me to wait for a year as she was supporting her family. She told me that she had lost her father a couple of years back and her brother was doing MBA. She wanted her brother to complete his studies and get a job before getting married. I suggested engagement till his graduation, but she said her family did not believe in engagements. We started talking and I told my parents about her as well. After a year, she suddenly stopped talking to me and blocked me on her cell. I went crazy with worry and went to my cousin who had introduced me to her. She called D to ask her why she had blocked me, and D told her she had accepted the proposal of her boss. Professor, she dumped me without even explaining anything! I was heartbroken and vowed never to trust girls again. Now my parents want me to get married and my mother shows me pictures of girls almost daily. She wants me to meet a couple of girls and decide but, unfortunately, I still have feelings for D and don’t want to get married. Besides, I have developed trust issues as well. How can I ever trust a girl again? I don’t want to meet girls just to see if I like them or not as it’s not fair to them. I am confused as I don’t want to be a bother for my parents but I don’t like this seeing girls thing as well. What do you suggest?

Betrayed Capricorn

Dear Betrayed Capricorn,

You are a very decent man. You liked a girl, and offered her marriage straightaway. Unfortunately for you, D did not share your feelings. You were a good prospect and she liked you, so she agreed to marry you. But, when she got a proposal from a well-settled guy, she took it without having the decency to inform you. She hurt you and betrayed you, so you are justified in being wary but all girls are not like D. I believe whatever happened was better for you. You got rid of a girl who is not trustworthy and hopefully God will give you a partner as decent and clear of heart as you are. If you don’t want to meet girls, ask your mother to choose one for you as you cannot waste your time pining for someone unworthy of your regard. My dear, D left you and got married, and you have mourned her enough. Now it’s time to start afresh.

Another thing: you said you will have developed trust issues, which is understandable but without trusting your partner you will not have a good life. Don’t judge her based on your experience with D. I am sure you have plenty of examples around you of good women who are sincere with their husbands. Your own mother being a case in point. Trust God, and get married with an open mind and heart and I am sure that things will work out for you this time. Best of luck!