Letters

Dear Professor,

I am a 39-year-old engineer. I am unmarried to date because I lost my parents quite early and had to bring up two younger brothers and a sister. All of them are now settled and happily married. They want me to settle down as well, and have been trying for the past five years to convince me to get married. I had been firm in my resolve to stay single till few months back. Actually, I am now set in my habits and am afraid that I would not be able to change according to someone else’s wishes. What if the girl is too lively? I am a sober sort of a man, and would not want anyone to suffer because I can’t change. I am also too old! What I am trying to say is that I do not want to spoil someone’s life. Any advice?

Confirmed Bachelor

Dear Confirmed Bachelor,

You will not spoil anyone’s life by getting married at all. You are a very caring, responsible and affectionate person. You took care of your siblings and will do all you can to make your partner happy. Just choose someone who is mature and you will do fine. My dear, many men are sober and their wives lively, but they get along fine. You have become a creature of your habits and that is why you should go for someone who is mature enough to understand you. The important thing is that you know you have become set in your habits, so you will make allowances for your wife if she does not conform to your lifestyle. Besides, once you are married, you will change to accommodate your wife. Also, you are not too old; nowadays, people marry usually in their mid to late thirties, after settling down financially. So make your siblings happy by giving in to their wishes, and I am sure you will have a happy life too. Good luck!