Letters

Dear Nadine,

I am a 35-year-old man. I am still unmarried, as I had to support my family due to my father’s early demise. We were fine financially, but I had three younger sisters and my mother wanted them married off before thinking about my marriage. My sisters are all married and they want me to settle down. God knows how many girls they have seen before finally settling for this girl with whose family my mother is in talks with. She is 26 years of age, and my mother has told them that I am 31. I feel uncomfortable about it, but my mother says after marriage the age disparity doesn’t really make a difference. I have no hesitation in accepting that I like this girl very much and would love to get married to her, but I am worried: what if she thinks our age difference is too much? After all, she is nine years younger than me! What should I do?

Worried Man

Dear Worried Man,

All marriages should be based on trust and honesty. For the future happiness of the couple, everything contentious and pertinent should be disclosed by their families to each other. It can get ugly if things lied about are discovered at a later stage. You are worried that the girl would think you are too old for her if you tell her your real age, but what you don’t realize is that you would be basing this marriage on falsehood. Do you want to lose her trust, or give her the chance to say that you lied about your age? You should call the girl or her father and disclose your real age; I am sure they will appreciate your honesty. If they don’t have a problem, you will be married with a free mind.  Best of luck!

 

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You can e mail Prof. Nadine Khan at nadinekhan_34@yahoo.com

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