Letters

Dear Nadine,

I am a 27 year-old-boy. I used to be very slim and smart, but that was before I started working at a bank. In the past two years, I have put on a lot of weight, and have become positively fat. I am 82 kgs! I have to work for long hours and going to the gym after work is not an option. I sit all day long, except when I get up for prayers. I am too tired by the time I reach home. The traffic is so bad that commuting from bank to my home in Gulistan-e-Jauhar takes at times more than two hours. I tried eating less, but dieting made me feel weak. So I decided to write to you. Please advise me about the kind of food that I should take, and any particular exercise that is focused at pushing my tummy back to its original place.

Worried Banker

Dear Worried Banker,

It’s not easy to lose weight after you become fat. Eating less will not answer in your case unless you somehow find time to exercise. Dieting doesn’t mean starving; it means taking a diet that is healthy and can keep you fit. Along with salads (green), you need protein and carbohydrates, too. So, include milk and yoghurt, lean meat, fruits and vegetables in your diet. Increase your water intake and control your sugar intake. Our body needs sugar, too, but avoid taking sugar in direct form as in tea or coffee. If you have a sweet tooth, restrict yourself to a very small portion of the dessert. Avoid fast food and deep fried stuff. Don’t deprive yourself of things you like totally, but settle for just a spoonful instead of your usual portion. To overcome hunger pangs, keep stuff that is low in calorie and filling, like fresh salad or black cholay.  At work also, try to get up every now and then, even if it is to get water for yourself. Slimming centres and pills are not advisable at all; both have after effects. I understand that you don’t have time to join a gym, but you can invest in a treadmill to get rid of excess fat. You could do treadmill while watching TV! It will take time, but you will come about. On your holidays, go for jogging. If you are an early riser, you can exercise, but you must get the help of a professional trainer in the first place. Once you know what to do, you can exercise at home also. Good luck!

Hi Nadine,

I am facing two major problems. My very close friend is in love with a guy, N, who has a very bad reputation. Not only is he into drugs, he has jilted many girls after using them. My friend is engaged to her cousin who is a very decent guy. The last time I tried to bring her to her senses, she told me not to talk to her again. Nadine, I know he will ruin her because a boy from that guy’s group is my brother’s classmate and my brother has heard about N’s plans to get my friend into drugs. She is not taking my calls and has ‘un-friended’ me on Facebook. I don’t know how to stop her. I’m scared about approaching her parents, so informing them is not an option.

My other problem is that I am in love with a guy who is not a Muslim. He studies with me and I think he is also interested in me, but he has never said anything to me. I’m from a conservative background, and I know my parents will not let me marry this guy. In fact, they just may kill me for falling in love with a guy from other faith. But I will not be happy if I am forced to marry someone else. Do you have any solution to my problems?

Unhappy Dreamer

 

Dear Unhappy Dreamer,

You tried to knock some sense into your friend, but unfortunately she is so mesmerized with N that your efforts have failed. If you are really sure about N’s plans, you must inform her parents. Your friend may hate you for this, but eventually she will realize that you only had her best interest at heart. Or, if you can write an anonymous letter to her parents, and share with them whatever you know about N. It’s not an ideal solution and I made this suggestion just because you stated that approaching her parents is not an option, without explaining why. You see, since she is a close friend of yours, your words will carry more weight with them in comparison to an anonymous letter. And just hope they take this info seriously.

As for your second problem, the guy has not given you any cause to make you suspect he has feelings for you. You say that he is very decent and noble because he has not said anything, but have you considered that the real reason he has not said anything to you is that he is only interested in you as a friend? And, since you belong to a conservative family and have no hope of convincing your parents, you should stop right in your tracks. Going further will only bring unhappiness if your parents are so rigid and conservative. In time, you will get over this guy and hopefully will have a very happy married life. Best of luck!