By US Desk
Fri, 09, 22

My friends are really supportive of me, but my family’s attitude towards me is quite embarrassing. What should I do?


My sisters are so fair

Salam Guru,

I love your unique style of solving teenagers’ problems. I am a 19-year-old girl, studying in A-Levels in one of the prestigious schools of Karachi, and I belong to a well-to-do family. Guru, my problem is my complexion. My mother is a Kashmiri and she and my other two sisters are very fair. I am the only one in the family who is on the darker side. Actually, my paternal grandmother had a dark skin and I think I inherited it from her. I am an intelligent girl, and I have no complexes about my skin colour, but I am always reminded by my family members that I am not fair. My sisters make fun of me and call me ‘Miss Brunette’ and sometimes ‘Miss Coffee’. This hurts me a lot and I really get depressed. My parents think that my sisters are being funny and I should not take their comments seriously. Whenever I go to a party with my sisters, people think I am their distant cousin. I now avoid going out with them. My friends are really supportive of me, but my family’s attitude towards me is quite embarrassing. What should I do?

Miss Brunette

Dear Miss Brunette,

I am amazed at the shallow attitude of your sisters. If they are fair and you are dark, it does not mean that they are superior or better than you. There is no need to feel depressed or embarrassed about anything. Count your blessings, dear: your family is well-off; you study in a good institution; you have good friends who care about you. Now, you should deal with your sisters intelligently. Ignore their nasty comments by not reacting at all. Just play it cool and be confident. Believe me, when they realise that their snide comments don’t bother you, they will automatically refrain from passing any comments. Concentrate on your studies and groom your personality. So, be bold, meet people and have a good life. Good luck!

My boss is very dominating

Dear Guru,

I am a 21-year-old fresh graduate. I have done LLB. I want to become one of the finest family lawyers in the country. I have recently joined a well-reputed law firm. I am also planning to take admission in LLM, next year. I have been working in the firm for six months. It’s a good firm and the working conditions are also good. I am quite satisfied with my job, but there is one man who has been bothering me. He is my immediate boss. His behaviour with me is very demeaning. He tries to impose his orders on me. He tells me to do all the dirty work like organizing files and getting the papers photocopied, etc. I thought he would take me to court where I could learn something but, instead, he gives me case studies to read which is so boring. What should I do? I am so frustrated now.

A Young Lawyer

Dear Young Lawyer,

At the start of career, one needs to be patient and determined. You are a fresh graduate and you need to learn the basics first before you get to accompany your boss to the court. First of all, you need to respect and learn from your seniors as they have years of experience. If your boss tells you to do something, no matter how small it is, you must do it willingly. Case studies are an important part of a lawyer’s work, and to become a successful lawyer you need to take it seriously. There is no harm in listening to your seniors. But yes, without being disrespectful, you can tell him to take you to the court. For that you need to show your worth by working hard. However, if you see that he is taking undue advantage of you then you can always talk to your senior bosses about his unfair attitude. But do that only when you think you are justified in complaining. Good luck!

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