COMIC RELIEF

A mathematician, a statistician and an accountant apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What does two plus two equal?"

The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."

Then the interviewer calls in the statistician and asks the same question "What does two plus two equal?" The statistician says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and poses the same question "What does two plus two equal?"

The accountant gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"

Why do couples fight

* My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, “What’s on TV?”

I said, “Dust.”

And then the fight started…

* When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.

So I took her to a petrol station.

And then the fight started…

* I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?” It warmed my heart to see her melting in my sweet appreciation.

“Somewhere I’ve not been in a long time.”

So I took her to my parents’ house.

And then the fight started…

* My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about three seconds.”

I bought her a weighing scale.

And then the fight started…

* My wife was standing and looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, “I feel horrible. I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to give me a compliment.”

I replied, “Your eyesight is perfect.”

And then the fight started…