COMIC RELIEF

A woman phones up her husband at work for a chat...

Says he: “I’m sorry honey but I’m up to my neck in work today”

Says she: “But I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you dear.”

Says he: “OK darling, but since I’ve got no time now, just give me the good news, OK?”

Says She: “Well, the air bag works...”

Avoiding the crowds

It was Christmas Eve and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”

“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.

“What? That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

“Before the store opened,” she replied.

An overactive fork

“Now, what are you planning to do about that excess weight you‘re carrying around?” the doctor asked the patient.

“I just can’t seem to lose the weight,” the patient said. “Must be an overactive thyroid.”

“The tests show your thyroid is perfectly normal,” the doctor said. “If anything is overactive, it’s your fork.”