I am fed up of office politics
I am a 24-year-old girl. I have been working in one of the branches of a big financial organisation since over a year. Initially, I really liked my job as the environment of our office was very conducive and we all worked as a team. In fact, it was like a one big, happy family. However, it did not last very long. A few months ago, our head office made some structural changes and there were major transfers and replacements in all the office branches of the organisation. In our office, half of our staff has also been rotated and replaced.
Now, the problem is that since the new staff has come, the environment of our office has changed. We no longer work together as one team. Now, there are lots of office politics and intrigues going on. I have been noticing major behaviour changes in some of my old colleagues especially, S. Somehow, S has become friendly with our new boss, F, and poisons his ears against us all. No wonder, S is F’s favourite. A few weeks ago, I had a heated argument with S over an office issue. Since then, he has been after me and wastes no opportunity to belittle me in front of our boss, F. I have tried to patch up with S, but he is still very nasty with me and talks ill of me behind my back. Guru, I am so fed up with office politics. I don’t know how to deal with mean men like S. What should I do?
Dear Working Girl,
When one enters practical life, one has to face a lot of problems and each day one learns a new lesson. When you are in school or college, you normally lead a protective life but in your professional life you meet a lot of challenges. You are a young girl and you have just started your journey. My dear, it’s difficult to find like-minded people at your work place. You were lucky that you got to work with very nice people at the start of your career. But, dear, you have to learn to deal with all type of people. You need to be assertive but at the same time you need to be a little diplomatic. In office you have to make calculated moves. You shouldn’t have had a heated argument with S in the first place (knowing how conniving he is). Now, you don’t need to patch up with S as you have tried your bit. In future, just try not to indulge in any argument with S. It is better to stay away from nasty people like him. Focus on your job and try to improve your work. Always remember that your hard work will take you places and nothing else. And don’t worry; sooner or later S will also be exposed. You see, he who digs a pit for others falls into it himself.
I am afraid of saying no to my friends
I am a regular reader of your column. I am an 18-year-old college going girl. I belong to a middle-class family. We are a group of five friends. They are all very fun loving and I really enjoy their company but, Guru, none of them is serious about studies. Since I am the studious one, they all copy my notes. They usually come to my place and enjoy my mother’s delicious food, but they never invite me to their homes. I don’t mind entertaining them but I am kind of fed up now. Now, they are planning to have a party at my place without talking about expenses. Guru, how can I say no to my friends? I am afraid of losing their vibrant company and friendship in case I refuse.
Dear Coy Girl,
You seem like a kind-hearted girl and your other four friends are taking undue advantage of your gentleness. They know they can come and enjoy at your expense so they choose to come to your place. Girl, please wake up, you are dealing with a bunch of selfish girls and they are not your friends. Learn to say no to your so-called friends. Tell them frankly that they should also contribute if they want to arrange a party at your place or else just forget about it. You should not feel pressurised and there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Even if they leave you, you will lose nothing; instead, they will lose a sincere friend like you. Don’t worry; you can always find new friends.
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