US

Do you know me?

US
By US Desk
Fri, 10, 21

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a very old woman to the stand....

Do you know me?

COMIC RELIEF

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a very old woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”

She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”

She replied, “Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.”

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, “If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.”

Mechanic puns

Do you know me?

1. The mechanic was seen having snacks and some coffee in the garage. He must be on his brake!

2. The mechanic was not dressed fashionably at the event, so he went to change his a-tire.

3. The kid wanted to become a car mechanic, so he went to bring a starter kit!

4. The new mechanic lost his job; they say he lacks fine motor skills.

5. The mechanic student was seen sleeping during his propeller mechanics class as he wasn’t a fan of it.

6. The signboard of the new Egyptian garage named after a ruler says, ‘Toot’an-come-in.’

7. The racing car driver didn’t want to stop at the garage as he was already in the pits.

8. All the fish went to the tuner fish to get their cars repaired.

9. The garage owner fired the new mechanic because he didn’t know the drill!

Do you know me?