I was at a museum, and I asked a worker there if we were allowed to take pictures.
He told me no, as they had to stay on the walls.
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive, please, move their cars so that we may begin ploughing?” 20 minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class?”
Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.
Q. How much money does a pirate pay for corn?
A. A buccaneer.
Q. Why did the crab never share?
A: Because it’s shellfish