Taking picture at museum

I was at a museum, and I asked a worker there if we were allowed to take pictures.

He told me no, as they had to stay on the walls.

Announcements on a snowy day

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive, please, move their cars so that we may begin ploughing?” 20 minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class?”

Pun fun

Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A. A nervous wreck.

Q. How much money does a pirate pay for corn?

A. A buccaneer.

Q. Why did the crab never share?

A: Because it’s shellfish