I am a 14-year-old girl. I am really inspired by the way you solve people’s problems....
How can I stop my brother from smoking?
Salam Guru,
I am a 14-year-old girl. I am really inspired by the way you solve people’s problems. We belong to a middle class family and we have been brought up in a protective environment. My problem is related to my elder brother who is 19 years old and is a student of final year B.Com. He has started smoking and he seems to enjoy it. Till intermediate he used to be a very simple boy but now he has made some friends in college and I think he is influenced by them. I have been trying to tell him to quit smoking but he does not seem to listen. I have even asked him to read articles on the hazards of smoking but he is not interested. Do you think I should tell my parents about his bad habit? Tell me how I can stop my brother from smoking.
Caring Sister
Dear Caring Sister,
I really appreciate your concern for your brother but you can’t really stop him from smoking unless he wants to quit it himself. I have seen educated and sensible people who are into smoking. People smoke for various reasons.
Since your brother is older, he might not take your advice seriously. So there’s no point nagging him. Sometimes one gets irritated by others’ constant preaching. Your brother is at a stage when he can become rebellious. Dealing with young adults is not easy; your brother needs to be handled gently not harshly. You have done your part; you can now tell your parents about it. Being parents, they know better how to handle their son. Good luck!
I have so many worries
Salam Guru,
You are doing an awesome job and I love reading your column. I am a 16-year-old girl. My problem is that my 11-year-old sister fights with me all the time. Since she is the youngest in the family she is much pampered. When I complain, my parents just smile and say that she is a baby and will be fine once she grows up. I don’t know when she will learn manners. Tell me how I should deal with my little sister.
My second problem is I am not as beautiful as my two best friends are. Both my friends have long hair and fair complexion. They are also into trendy stuff. I also want to look cool like them but unfortunately my mother does not let me do makeup or wear fashionable clothes. She says that I am too young for all this. Guru, don’t you think it’s unfair?
My third problem is that I don’t know many jokes. I want my friends to enjoy my company but since I cannot make them laugh they avoid me. Please help me.
Anxious Girl
Dear Anxious Girl,
Take it easy dear. Don’t worry about your sister. Your parents are right; she will be fine when she grows up. She is only 11 and, at this age, the energy level of children is generally very high and they are into all kinds of mischief. Don’t get upset by her pranks. Be patient with her deal with her with lovee. Be friendly with her and refrain from scolding her. She’ll learn to behave with time. And these are actually not fights; it’s just her way of expressing love.
As far as your second problem is concerned, I think you should not compete with your friends. So what if they are prettier or trendier than you; looks alone cannot make anyone beautiful; the sweetness of nature makes one truly beautiful, and I am sure you are a truly beautiful girl. I totally agree with your mother. You are too young to use makeup on your skin. 16 is such an innocent age. So, my dear, don’t get into this rat race. This is your age to have fun with your friends.
Well, you can always groom yourself and that comes with age and maturity. So, just relax.
Your third problem is not even a problem. Just accept yourself as you are and just be natural. It’s okay if you cannot crack jokes; it’s not compulsory to amuse people by telling funny jokes. You can still amuse people by your intelligence and good behaviour. Good luck!
Kindly send your problems at: trustusproblems@yahoo.com
