I am a 16-year-old girl. I have four siblings - two younger brothers and one younger sister....
I want an elder brother in my life
Dear Guru,
I am a 16-year-old girl. I have four siblings - two younger brothers and one younger sister, and I have one elder sister. I don’t know why but I get upset over little things and petty issues. Like, when my elder sister scolds me and uses harsh words, I really get hurt and I go into depression for days. I really wish I had an elder brother as big brothers listen to your problems and are always there for you. I know it is wishful thinking but seriously I want an elderly figure in my life with whom I can share everything - my joys, my worries, etc. My elder sister is too rude, and my younger siblings are not mature enough to understand me. Guru, I really need someone who can even just act like an elder brother to me. My elder sister is not really nice to me and I don’t know why but I feel insecure when I tell her something. I have an elder cousin who is around 26 or 27 years old. He is really nice but the only hitch is that he lives abroad and it’s difficult to communicate with him on daily basis. I don’t think he will understand my problem. What should I do?
Sad Girl
Dear Sad Girl,
There is nothing to be depressed about, girl. Actually your problem is self-created. There are so many people in this world who either have sisters or brothers. Fortunately you are blessed with both. Instead of crying over not having an elder brother why don’t you try to mingle with your younger brothers? I know they are younger to you but in few years’ time they will be mature enough to protect you and be there for you. I know having a big brother is a plus point but what if you had a rude elder brother? What would you do if he would put restrictions on your comings and goings? I don’t think you would like it. There are so many little sisters who are afraid of their elder brothers as they are very strict. You may not have friendly relations with your elder sister but it does not mean she does not care about you or love you. Since she is older to you, she maintains a fair distance. I have noticed that siblings when they are young tend to fight a lot but once they all grow up, and enter their practical life they develop fondness for each other. So, be patient. Try to evaluate your own attitude and behaviour with your siblings. You feel upset over little things now but few years down the road you will laugh at your own silly behaviour. And forget about your elder cousin. He lives abroad and I don’t think you can develop a bond with him. Try to cultivate that same bond with your real brothers and sisters. Good luck!
I am not happy with what I am studying
Salam Guru,
I am a 20-year-old girl currently pursuing a degree in English in a not-so-prestigious university in Islamabad. I did well at school and intended to study medicine, but things didn’t go as planned. I don’t like the university I go to. I was really depressed at first but I have learned to just accept things as they are. I want to do well but I am so de-motivated because I no longer have any goals. I took this course because I was told there is a lot of scope for graduates of English, but upon entering I realized that the only decent job one can get in this field is teaching and I really don’t want to do that. What else can I do with a degree in English? I would also really like to do internships related to this field, but I don’t know where to go or who to turn to for guidance. What should I do?
Optimistic Pessimist
Dear Optimistic Pessimist,
Don’t feel so dejected, girl. It’s really good that you have moved on and are over your depression in no time. It shows that you are a sensible girl. Now that you are pursuing a degree in English, you shouldn’t do it half-heartedly. Be positive. English is a very good subject and it has its own value owing to its international acceptance, and there is a wider scope for it. Teaching is just one of the options. If you are well versed in English you can get a decent job in any multi-national company. If you are interested in writing you can get a job as a copy writer in an advertising agency, too. You can also try your luck in different consulates/embassies where they need people with strong communication skills. If you want to do an internship then apply to different newspapers as trainee sub editor where you will get a chance to polish your skills. Good luck!
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