The professor conducts an exam. He was in a good mood and the student he questioned wasn’t prepared enough.
The student
passes the exam
The professor conducts an exam. He was in a good mood and the student he questioned wasn’t prepared enough.
“Look here, I can’t give you a passing grade based on your answers. I will however let you pass if you tell me how many light bulbs are in this room?”
The student counted carefully and confidently said, “32.”
The professor started laughing and reached for his bag. “Nice try, but I got one in my bag. See you next month!”
A month passed and the student came to try his luck again.
“I remember you. You failed my light bulb test last time. So tell me and if you answer correctly, I won’t question you further. How many light bulbs are in this room?”
The student looked him in the eye and said, “33.”
The professor laughed even harder than last time. “Oh silly you, I didn’t bring a spare light bulb with me this time.”
The student smirked, reached for his bag and triumphantly said, “Oh, but I did!”
Student report cards
Here are a few real comments made by teachers on their student report cards:
1) Since my last report, your child has hit rock bottom and has started to dig.
2) Your child has delusions of adequacy.
3) Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
4) The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.
5) The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.
The kid bosses around
There was this teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his boots.
He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn’t want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, “Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.”
She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn’t any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on - this time on the right feet.
He then announced, “These aren’t my boots.”
She bit her tongue and screamed, “Why didn’t you say so?”
Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off.
He then said, “They’re my brother’s boots. My mom made me wear them today.”
She didn’t know if she should laugh or cry. She then mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots onto his feet again.
She said, “Now, where are your mittens?”
He said, “I stuffed them into my boots.”
