A police officer was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial.
Police officer on trial
A police officer was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial.
The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer’s credibility.
Q: “Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?”
A: “No, sir! But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.”
Q: “Officer, who provided this description?”
A: “The officer who responded to the scene.”
Q: “A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender! Do you trust your fellow officers?”
A: “Yes, sir, with my life!”
Q: “With your life? Let me ask you this then officer: Do you have a locker in the room?”
A: “Yes, sir, I do!”
Q: “And do you have a lock on your locker?”
A: “Yes, sir!”
Q: “Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with the same officers?”
A: “You see, sir, we share the building with the Court Complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.”
The courtroom exploded with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
Was it a ghost?
There was this party in the woods and, all of a sudden, there was a downpour of rain and thunder. These two young men ran for about 10 minutes in the rain, and finally reached their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the road.
All of a sudden, an old man’s face appeared outside the passenger window, and he tapped lightly on it. The man on the passenger side screamed out, “Eeeeeeekkk! Look at my window! There’s an old guy’s face there!”
This old man kept knocking, so the driver said, “Well, open the window a little and ask him what he wants!”
So the passenger rolled his window down and said, scared out of his wits, “What do you want?”
The old man softly replied, “Do you have any tobacco?”
The passenger, terrified, looked at the driver and said, “He wants tobacco.”
“Well, offer him a cigarette! Hurry!” the driver replies.
So the passenger fumbles around with the pack and hands the old man a cigarette.
Now going about 80 miles an hour, they calm down and start laughing, when the passenger says, “What do you think about that?”
The driver says, “I don’t know. How could that be? I was going pretty fast.”
Then all of a sudden, there is a knock, and there is the old man again.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, there he is again!” the passenger yells.
“Well, see what he wants now!” yells back the driver.
The passenger rolls down the window a little and shakily says, “Yes?”
“Do you have a light?” the old man quietly asks.
The passenger throws a lighter out of the window.
They are now going about 100 miles an hour, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden again, there is more knocking.
“Oh my God! He’s back!”
He rolls down the window and screams out, “What do you want now?”
The old man replies, “You want some help getting out of the mud?”
Compiled by Usama Rasheed
