US

COMIC RELIEF

February 17, 2017
By Usama Rasheed

An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic.

Don’t mess with an old man

An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic.

He put a sign up outside that said: “Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured, get back $1,000.”

Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.

He went to Dr Geezer’s clinic and this is what happened.

Dr Young: “Dr Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?

Dr Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr Young’s mouth.”

Dr Young: “Aaagh! This is Gasoline!”

Dr Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”

Dr Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr Young: “I have lost my memory and I cannot remember anything.”

Dr Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”

Dr Young: “Oh no you don’t, that’s Gasoline!”

Dr Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”

Dr Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr Young: “My eyesight has become weak I can hardly see!”

Dr Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that. Here’s your $1000 back.”

Dr Young: “But this is only $500!”

Dr Geezer: “Congratulations! You have got your vision back! That will be $500.”

Moral of the story: Just because you’re Young doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an old Geezer .

 

Still not repaired

Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop.

The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old.

They both laughed and tried to remember which one of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago.

“Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?” Arnold asked.

“Not very likely,” his wife said.

“It’s worth a try,” Arnold said, pocketing the ticket.

He went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the store.

With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind the counter.

With a face just as straight, the man said, “Just a minute! I’ll have to look for these.”

He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop.Two minutes later, the man called out, “Here they are!”

“No kidding?” Arnold called back. “That’s terrific! Who would have thought they’d still be here after all this time!”

The man came back to the counter, empty-handed, “They’ll be ready Thursday.”

 COMIC RELIEF

Not a good idea

As a member of the organisation that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months.

One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job.

I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case.

“If you don’t get off there right now,” she commanded, “I’m going to e-mail your father!”

COMIC RELIEF