How can I overcome this guilty pleasure?
I am a 22 year-old-girl. I am a university student. Two months ago, a proposal came for me. I had been resentful about the idea of getting engaged while studying since day one. So, I clearly said no. My parents suspected that I was having an affair, that’s why I was running away from commitment. It wasn’t like that, Guru. I wasn’t in a relationship, I was just friendly with my best friend. However, there were rumours that I was having an affair with my best friend.
Finally, about two weeks ago, I said ‘yes’ to the proposal as my mother was after my life. My mother used to blame me for her sleepless nights out of depression. The day I said ‘yes’ to the proposal, I told my best friend about the whole situation. He seemed shocked, but kept quiet. Part of me knew that he liked me, and I had also been fond of him but we decided to make this friendship pure, with zero complications.
Now, the situation is that I am getting more romantically inclined towards my best friend. He is a great guy who has been trying hard to hide his affection as he does not want to create any awkward situation for me. Guru, I am in a dilemma. It hurts me to see us struggling with our emotions every day. I am living in a delusional world where I am just happy with him. How can I overcome this guilty pleasure?
Girl in Illusion
Dear Girl in Illusion,
They say, when you love someone, it’s always a good idea to let that person know that you are in love with him/her. There is no point keeping your feelings to yourself or to hide them. Express your feeling at the right time or you may lose your love forever. This is what actually happened with you. You did not take the plunge at the right time and now you are regretting. I don’t understand what restrained you guys from expressing your feelings for each other. Didn’t you know that your parents were worried about you and they wanted you to tie the knot as soon as possible? Were you day dreaming all this time? And now that you are engaged, you want him back in your life. My dear, things don’t work out just by wishing and living in your imaginary world. The two of you are running away from reality. You are feeling guilty as in a way you are cheating on your fiancé. You are actually confused whether to listen to your mind or heart. I think it’s about time; you openly talk to your best friend. If he is really serious about you, he can send a formal proposal to your home. I know it won’t be an easy path to get your love now as you are engaged, but thankfully not married, and there is still a chance for you to get him. However, be prepared mentally to face the consequences. Don’t lose heart if your parents will not agree to his proposal. At least you will have this satisfaction that you tried your best and you took a stand for your love. Good luck!
Love has no boundaries
I am a medical student. By chance, I read your column and I thought of sharing my problem with you. Guru, my problem is that I am in love with a very beautiful girl. We met via social media. I haven’t seen her but I am madly in love with her. She is Pathan and lives in USA. Her family is very rich. They want her to get married. Now, she is insisting that I should send my proposal. Guru, I am in no position to ask for her hand. My parents are really poor. My father is expecting me to help him out financially once I finish my studies, as I have younger siblings too. What can I do? There is such a big class difference too. Please help.
Doctor in Love
Dear Doctor in Love,
First of all, you need to understand that virtual relationships are usually fake. You have only seen her pictures. You haven’t met her and you claim that you are in love. My dear, get out of your confusion. Things are pretty clear, this girl is not meant for you. She is a rich girl while you have responsibilities on your shoulders. Your father must have worked really hard to give you a good education. You must concentrate on your future. Don’t ditch your father. Stand on your feet first and then think about marriage. Good luck!