You sound so committed to your love that I am quite impressed by your level of sincerity towards your boyfriend. However, you two are still too young to get into a serious relationship. Your boyfriend has anger issues and his unpredictable mood swings can be difficult for you to handle in future.
Confidential
Dear Peacemaker,
You sound so committed to your love that I am quite impressed by your level of sincerity towards your boyfriend. However, you two are still too young to get into a serious relationship. Your boyfriend has anger issues and his unpredictable mood swings can be difficult for you to handle in future. See, boys usually take after their fathers. He has seen his father misbehaving with his mother all his life so for him abusing is something normal. Why do you want to put up with someone who is so aggressive and moody? You claim that he loves you and you can’t imagine your life without him. But, my dear, this is just your infatuation. At 16, you don’t even know what you actually want from life. However, if you really want to go ahead with your boyfriend then it’s up to you. Your mother is right; give yourself some years to see whether your love for him can sustain or not.
Anyway, you asked me to suggest you some tips on anger management as you want your boyfriend to subdue his anger. Basically, anger is a completely normal human emotion, but when it gets out of control, it can lead to problems - especially in your personal relationships. In your case, your boyfriend’s anger is affecting your relationship with him. You get hurt by his harsh words and you get into depression. There is no need for you to get depressed. The best thing you can do is to educate yourself about anger and anger-related disorders. Read about anger management techniques, you can easily find hundreds of tips on different websites. Learning such techniques will make it easier for you to handle your boyfriend when he is annoyed. If you are in a heated discussion, slow down. Listen carefully to what he is saying. And take your time before answering. Instead of saying the first thing that comes into your head, think carefully about what you want to say. This will save you from getting into further conflict. And when he is in a happy mood, try to talk to him about his mood swings and motivate him to change his attitude. Hopefully he will listen to you. Good luck!
I get negative vibes about my mom-in-law (to be)
Salam Guru,
I am a 21-year-old girl. I have recently done graduation. I belong to a middle class but educated family. I happen to be very beautiful. I have been getting proposals since I was 16 but my parents wanted me to do my graduation first, so they kept refusing all the proposals that were coming for me. But now that I am a graduate, my parents are seriously considering my proposals. They have selected a very nice match for me. The guy, H, is handsome, well- placed and has a sound family background. He saw me in my best friend’s wedding a few months ago and he fell in love with me. He then gathered info about my family and persuaded his mother to send his proposal to my home. His mother formally brought the proposal and there are strong chances that my parents will accept it, but I have this feeling that my prospective mom-in-law does not like me. She did not show any enthusiasm or affection towards me when she came to our place. Her cold and indifferent behaviour was enough to give me negative vibes about her. When I shared my apprehension with my mom she told me that it was just my imagination. Now everyone is waiting for my yes. I really like the guy but somehow I am not okay with his mom. It seems she is doing all this because of her son and is not really happy in accepting me as her daughter-in-law. Guru, I am so confused. Should I accept this proposal or not?
Eastern Bride
Dear Eastern Bride,
You may not be the choice of your mom in-law but you should not worry about that. You are H’s choice and I am sure he will keep you happy after marriage. You should go for this marriage without any hesitation. The main person is H and you know that he likes you. Your mom-in-law may seem reserved and cold to you right now as she is a complete stranger to you but once you start living with her you will get to know her gradually. Sometimes, initially people look very loving and affectionate but afterwards they turn out to be mean and nasty. At least your mom in- law is not a pretender. Be positive. Don’t harbour negative feelings about your mom-in-law. Just give her due respect and you will see a world of difference in her attitude with the passage of time. Good luck!
Send your problems to Guru at trustusproblems@yahoo.com
