Corb (@awshuqs): I was born in the right generation – I love struggling constantly and not being very happy....
Xwit
Corb (@awshuqs): I was born in the right generation – I love struggling constantly and not being very happy.
Neil Renic (@NC_Renic): Pro: works well under pressure.
Con: only works when under pressure.
Cat From Nowhere (@kv8): Dating apps are great for when you’re finally ready to get serious about giving up.
Mr.Carter (@dexteristwisted): Today’s 3-year-olds can turn on laptops and computers....
When I was 3, I ate mud.
Social Outcast (@SocialOutcast82): Every once in a while, someone comes into your life that makes you realize why you don’t let anyone into your life.
Krista (@kristabellerina): My favourite sentence in the English language is when my husband says “I’ll take the kids to school.”
Meghan (@deloisivete): My kid loves building things out of cardboard boxes, so I’m really just doing him a favour with all this online shopping.
Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe): Can you tweet more quietly? I have a headache.
An astronomer, a lawyer, and an engineer are sentenced to die by guillotine.
The astronomer is first, and requests to be placed face up on the board, so he can pass on while looking at the sky. They strap him down, release the blade, it starts to fall, and... stops just short of his neck. The court sees this as a sign from the heavens, and he is released.
The lawyer, watching all this happen, also requests to be placed face up. Again, he is strapped down, the blade is released, and it stops too. Citing precedent, the lawyer is also released.
The engineer is also strapped in face up. He looks up at the blade and track and says, “Oh, I see the problem.”
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
