Whenever someone tries to talk to me in English, I get confused and it’s a task for me to reply in English. I want to improve my English. Please help me....
I have a difficult choice to make
Dear Guru,
I am a 24-year-old girl in the final semester of my Master’s degree. I’ve been in a relationship with R for over a year. We first met during our BS programme - he was my senior by a year. After graduating, he began working at a multinational company and also helps out in his family’s business. Both of us come from well-off families and have been serious about our relationship from the start.
A few months ago, after completing his Master’s, R sent his parents to mine with a formal marriage proposal. My parents were happy to accept, as they had met R and his family several times over the past two years and approved of him. It was decided that the wedding would take place in five months, and I was over the moon. I began planning everything - from my bridal dress to the mehndi and dholki functions. But Guru, all my excitement came crashing down when R’s grandfather passed away. Out of respect for the mourning period, his mother now wants to postpone the wedding by a year, and my parents agree.
R’s family has offered a compromise: a simple nikah ceremony in the mosque, followed by a valima dinner the next day. R also wants us to get married on the original date rather than wait for another year. But I had so many dreams of a joyful, colourful wedding with all the events. I feel torn and deeply disappointed. I have a difficult choice to make: should I settle for a quiet ceremony or wait an entire year to celebrate as I had always wanted?
Disappointed Girl
Dear Disappointed Girl,
It’s completely natural to feel heartbroken when the plans you had dreamed of for so long are suddenly altered. A wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event, and it’s okay to feel upset and sad. That said, I would like to point out a very important thing: while you feel upset about the loss of your envisioned celebrations, remember that the essence of a wedding lies not in the scale of the event, but in the union it marks. If you and R are emotionally ready and willing, a simple nikah followed by a valima ceremony may still be full of meaning, love, and joy - especially since both of you still want to move forward with marriage on the planned date.
However, if your heart is truly set on a traditional, festive wedding, you have every right to wait. That said, a year is a long time and many things may go wrong. Could you propose a middle path - perhaps postponing by six months to allow some time for mourning, while still having a celebration that you wish for?
Also, there is another important consideration: would the joy of being married to R outweigh the temporary disappointment of a toned-down wedding? Sometimes, building a life together matters more than a big wedding.
Finally, talk to R. Share your feelings, but also listen to his. A marriage begins with mutual understanding and compromise. Whatever you decide, make sure it is based on what brings you both peace and happiness, and not just the expectations of others.
Good luck
I want to improve my English
Dear Guru,
I am a 30-year-old guy. I work in a private company. My problem is that I am still struggling to get promotion and I think it is due to my weak English. I find it difficult to communicate in English. Whenever someone tries to talk to me in English, I get confused and it’s a task for me to reply in English. I want to improve my English. Please help me.
Man in Trouble
Dear Man in Trouble,
First of all, you’re not alone - many capable professionals face this challenge, and the good news is that it can be overcome with time and steady effort. Improving your English doesn’t require expensive courses or perfect grammar from day one. What you need is daily, consistent practice. Start small. Read English newspapers, magazines or simple storybooks to build vocabulary. Watch English news or shows with subtitles to improve listening and pronunciation. Repeat what you hear out loud - this will boost your speaking confidence.
Practice speaking English with a trusted friend or colleague, even if it’s just five minutes a day. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes - mistakes are part of the learning process. You could also join a language centre to practice in a supportive environment.
Use free apps like Duolingo, BBC Learning English, or YouTube channels focused on workplace English. Keep a notebook to jot down useful phrases and practise them daily. Also, set yourself realistic goals like writing one work email in English per day or responding to one office query confidently.
Lastly, remember that language is just a tool: your skills, sincerity, and work ethic matter just as much. As your English improves, your confidence will grow, and promotions will follow.
Good luck
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