In the middle of a particularly tedious physics lesson during O-levels, our teacher decided to drop a pearl of wisdom....
THINK PAD
In the middle of a particularly tedious physics lesson during O-levels, our teacher decided to drop a pearl of wisdom. Seeing that his students were struggling to memorize formulas, he declared, “If you want to have good memory, never lie.” Upon receiving puzzled expressions from clueless teenagers, he explained further: “When one tells a lie, he has to tell more in order to build upon the first lie and sometimes this continues until one eventually forgets what was said in the first place, therefore if one is always truthful, he will not struggle to recall what he originally said”. I suppose it did make more sense than the theory of relativity.
Turns out, the teacher was right. Research indicates that lying impairs memory whereas speaking the truth is associated with a clearer recollection of events. This is because there is a significant cognitive load which goes into building and maintaining a false narrative. Those who lie frequently have a hard time distinguishing between true and false memories. In the article ‘The effect of lying on memory in daily life: Does motivation matter?’ by Yan Li and Zhiwei Liu, the authors present research that provides an interesting explanation – since lying is often an accusation because of its immoral nature, it becomes an unwelcome memory which people try to intentionally forget.
While speaking the truth is good for memory, this certainly isn’t the only benefit. Truthfulness is the foundation of integrity in an individual. Integrity is defined as the quality of being honest and having sound moral principles. Being truthful earns one respect, admiration, and honour. Moreover, such a person wins the trust of others. Speaking the truth also brings with it a sense of freedom, peace, and increased confidence.
Lying, on the other hand, may provide short-term rewards but carries long-term risks. The habit has a hindering impact on a person’s well-being. Liars suffer from low self-esteem and feelings of misery due to awareness of their deceptive and immoral behaviour, and also because the emotions associated with lying such as shame, guilt, hurt, anger, and avoidance are negative. Additionally, liars are often riddled with anxiety for fear of being caught or found out. Research also shows that frequent liars experience lower relationship satisfaction since trust, which is the foundation of any relationship, is broken by dishonesty. Furthermore, lack of trust damages communication and creates distance between partners, leading to an eventual breakdown of the relationship. People who lie lose the credibility of their word and therefore the confidence and faith of people in their community. With such people, even when they are telling the truth, they are doubted. The fable of the boy who cried wolf is a good example of how people simply stop paying attention to a known liar.
Sadly though, lying is a part of human nature. Some psychologists suggest that lying may have evolved as a surviving mechanism. This carries truth because often times people do not intend to lie but are compelled to, in order to avoid hurting feelings or to save themselves from a potentially uncomfortable or precarious situation.
When it comes to lying as a mental condition, psychology outlines two main categories of liars: the compulsive liar and the pathological liar.
The compulsive liar lies out of habit, which formed in early childhood as a result of being in an environment where lying was the norm and often necessary. For compulsive liars, telling the truth is uncomfortable because they are very used to lying. Lying comes like a reflexive action and automatic response to them. They are not manipulative or hold a malicious agenda. They often make up lies spontaneously, without much thought. It is easy to detect compulsive liars because their stories will have inconsistencies, and because they tend to display several obvious signs of lying, such as avoiding eye contact, appearing anxious, or fumbling in speech. Compulsive liars are aware of the difference between reality and their lies. People suffering from bipolar and borderline personality disorder are often compulsive liars.
Pathological liars, on the other hand, lie to achieve an end goal. Pathological lying develops as a coping mechanism in early childhood. Pathological liars are shrewd, manipulative, and have no regard for the rights and feelings of other people. They are expert liars that make up grandiose stories which they frequently repeat. They will look into a person’s eyes while lying to them and, due to their confidence, it is difficult to catch them lying. Pathological liars live in a false sense of reality. People that have antisocial personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder are often pathological liars.
Fortunately, most people are not compulsive or pathological liars. Although many people lie quite frequently, it is not due to a mental condition or the environmental effects in their upbringing and can be avoided.
Lying is a harmful habit, which damages character, tarnishes reputation, and has a negative effect on mental health and well-being. Truly nothing can beat the peace of mind that speaking the truth brings.
