Kip Conlon (@kipconlon): Fiancée accused me of being too sensitive. Pardon me: ex-fiancée....
* Kip Conlon (@kipconlon): Fiancée accused me of being too sensitive. Pardon me: ex-fiancée.
* Eric (@NotTodayEric): Might back into a parking space today to see what it feels like to be annoying.
* Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix): In honor of National Weather Person's Day, I'll only be doing 30% of my work correctly.
* Greg (@greg16676935420): IRS: You owe us taxes.
Me: How much do I owe?
IRS: You get to figure that out.
Me: Can I just pay what I want?
IRS: No we know exactly how much you owe but you have to guess the number too.
Me: What if I guess wrong?
IRS: Jail.
Happy tax season!
* David Burge (@iowahawkblog): I feel blessed to have lived long enough to see the Golden Age of Imbecility.
* Hollie Harris (@allholls): Whoever needs to hear this, you don't have to have it all figured out or put together. Because it makes me look bad if you do.
Q: What building has the most stories?
A: A library.
Q: What is the spookiest kind of author?
A: A ghostwriter.
Q: How do you track a book?
A: You follow its footnotes.
Q: Why did the math book go to therapy?
A: Because it had too many problems.
Q: What does a librarian take fishing?
A: Bookworms.
Q: Why do bookworms break up?
A: Because they are not on the same page.
Q: Why was the book of spells useless?
A: The author forgot to run spellcheck.
Q: Why did the book look thin and unwell?
A: It just had its appendix removed.
Q: Why should you not write a book on sharks?
A: Because it is much easier to write a book on paper.
“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx
