Communication skills help us in all spheres of life. A better understanding of how they work can help us communicate more effectively....
COVER STORY
Communication is a vital part of our lives. It’s how we connect with people, express our needs, resolve our conflicts. We communicate with each other through various means: verbal, non-verbal, written, and visual. And nowadays technology and social media have revolutionized the way we communicate, evolving how we interact with each other.
When it comes to interpersonal communication, the more effective a conversation is, the higher the chances of successful results.
Similarly, at school or college, you may be called upon to answer certain questions. The answers to some questions may be straightforward, but there are questions that require you to put your thoughts together and make arguments. Here interpersonal and oral communication skills come into play. The better communication skills you have, the more confident you will feel.
If we talk about written communication, it’s different from oral communication in the sense that it requires more deliberation and planning. Sometimes oral communication can also require time consuming planning, such as when you prepare a presentation or have to give a speech. Nonetheless, you need to give more attention to details when writing as compared to speaking.
The benefit in oral communication is that you get immediate feedback, whereas in written communication feedback might be delayed. In oral communication, your body language and tone of voice also plays an important part, whereas in written communication you convey your tone through your choice of words and their arrangement.
For college and university students, a lot of work needs to be submitted in written form, such as summaries, essays, papers, etcetera. And if you work in a field that requires you to write reports, documents, or even emails, then communication skills, once again, come in handy.
You must think before you speak, as the age-old adage directs.
Written communication requires even more planning. When writing an essay or article, knowingly or unknowingly you follow the three-step writing process: planning (pre-writing), composing and organizing (writing your essay), and completing (revising and proofreading your essay).
Planning or pre-writing requires you to identify your purpose, choose your channel and medium, and analyse your audience. Analysing your audience and their interests is an important part of planning a written piece.
The second step is organizing and composing, which actually means to make your message coherent, clear, concise, and relevant. A message is said to be well-composed when the purpose and meaning are clear and no irrelevant information is included.
In the revising stage, you proofread and edit your message. You may check for errors in punctuation and spellings while revising the message for clarity and conciseness. Proofreading and editing are not one and the same; while proofreading means checking for spellings, punctuation, and grammar, editing means improving the overall structure and flow of your message.
Here I would like to mention that everyone has their own unique style of writing, which means that some compose while revising and vice versa. It is not necessary that these three writing steps follow in the same sequence.
Styles of communication
Different people adopt different styles when communicating interpersonally at social gatherings, work, school, or college. It depends on your audience, your situation, mood, and environment whether you adopt an assertive, aggressive, passive, or passive-aggressive style. Another style of communication is the manipulative style, which, of course, is unethical.
Assertive communication style:
Assertive communication is a healthy mid-point between aggressive and passive communication styles. It entails being direct, honest, and to the point. Assertive communicators have a healthy self-esteem, are good at resolving conflicts, and respect their own needs while acknowledging the needs of others as well. They are direct at times but convey their views and opinions with politeness and consideration for others. Although this communication style is suited for most instances, there are times when it can backfire, such as when there is a situation where you need to be passive, but if you act assertively it could turn against you. The messages assertive communicators give to others are: I am confident about who I am; I cannot control others but I control my own thoughts, behaviours, and opinions; I speak clearly, honestly and to the point; and I respect others and their views and give others an opportunity to speak their minds.
Aggressive communication style: Of course the aggressive communication style is not recommended as it is hostile and threatening towards others. Aggressive communicators want to win at all costs and have little or no tolerance for others’ views. They step on the rights of others while communicating, and the message they give to others is: I am entitled and the other person owes me. They are loud, dominating, and intimidating at the same time.
Passive communication style: Passive communicators find it difficult to speak for themselves, and when they speak, they usually do so in a soft, apologetic tone. They lack confidence and self-esteem, and this is displayed through their body language and tone of voice. They allow grievances and annoyances to mount and might have occasional outbursts when their tolerance level reaches a peak. Although this communication style is not recommended, there are situations where you would prefer remaining passive. It goes without saying that passive communicators cannot make confident ‘I’ statements and are not good at resolving conflicts. They focus more on pleasing others while overlooking their own needs and wants as an individual.
Passive-aggressive communication style: Passive-aggressive communicators are passive on the surface but act out their anger in indirect, subtle ways. They are aware of their needs but struggle to voice them, hence it can be assumed that they are not very effective at resolving conflicts or voicing their opinions confidently. They may tend to communicate mostly using body language and lack open communication towards others.
Manipulative communication style: Manipulative communication style is the least ethical of all; in fact, it’s unethical! Manipulative communicators know how to take advantage of others and it is very easy for them to impose their ideas on passive communicators. They act in subtle, indirect ways, and manipulate others through their communication skills.
Developing communication skills is very much needed in today’s era. A wide vocabulary will open up paths for you to communicate effectively. You need to develop a reading habit and feel confident while communicating. With the advent of social media, reading appears to be a dying habit. Don’t miss an opportunity to read a book, article, or newspaper, as it will help you immensely in improving your communication skills. And of course, communication is a two-way process, therefore you need to enhance your listening skills too. Good luck!
