Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle): I’ve never understood fear of the unknown. The unknown is the afterlife; aliens; other dimensions; maybe faeries if we’re lucky. The known is global heating and certain death....
COMIC RELIEF
* Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle): I’ve never understood fear of the unknown. The unknown is the afterlife; aliens; other dimensions; maybe faeries if we’re lucky. The known is global heating and certain death.
* Jenni (@hashjenni): I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.
* Caitie Delaney (@caitiedelaney): I’m hearing the pandemic started 4 years ago today which is odd because I’m pretty sure that was either 800 years ago or yesterday actually.
* Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad): My conspiracy theory is that no one has a normal aged cat ever. They always either just got a baby kitten or their cat is 18 and on death’s door. No one has a 9 year old cat. No one says something normal like, “Oh Flapjack? He’s 4.”
* Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack): What do you guys want to argue about tonight?
A man finally took all the disabled umbrellas in his house to the repairer’s. The next morning, on his way to his office, when he got up to leave the subway, he absentmindedly laid hold of the umbrella belonging to a woman beside him, for he was in the habit of carrying one. The woman cried “Stop thief!”, rescued her umbrella, and covered the man with shame and confusion.
Later that day, he stopped at the repairer’s and received all five of his umbrellas duly restored. As he entered the subway, with the unwrapped umbrellas tucked under his arm, he was horrified to behold glaring at him the lady of his morning adventure. Her voice came to him charged with a withering scorn: “Huh! Had a good day, didn’t you!”
“Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort.”
– Helen Gurley Brown
