Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl): “You’re so ambitious!” Thanks, as a child I learned that achievement equals love....
* Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl): “You’re so ambitious!” Thanks, as a child I learned that achievement equals love.
* Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe): One of the worst feelings is watching a documentary about a cult and everyone has a nicer house than me.
* Justin Shanes (@justinshanes): If you want your dirty tissues cleaned *and* broken up into 300 pieces, there just really is no better method than accidentally leaving them in a pants pocket in the wash. 100% success rate.
* Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman): Some intrepid whistleblower needs to leak Barack Obama’s actual Spotify Wrapped.
* Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle): Reminder that you’re a conscious being, with a myriad of choices, friends, dreams, hopes, and the ability to imagine anything, trapped in a dying body on a dying planet.
Points to ponder
“Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.” – Walt Disney
One day a boy saw a farmer selling a donkey for $100. The boy told the farmer he would pay the money if the farmer could deliver it to his house. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day but when he arrived at the boy’s house there was no donkey. He told the boy that the donkey died during the night. Saddened, the boy asked for his money back. “I’m afraid I have already spent the money.” the farmer said. “Well, then just give me the donkey.” said the boy. “What are you going to do with a dead donkey?” asked the farmer. The boy told the farmer he would think of something, so the farmer delivered the donkey the next day.
The next month the farmer saw the boy and asked him what he did with the donkey. “I made $895 off of that thing.” the boy said. “ How could you make that much money off of a dead donkey?” the farmer wanted to know. The boy said, “I didn’t tell anyone he was dead at first. I just put up signs around town that said I was going to raffle off a beautiful donkey for raffle tickets that cost $5 and I sold 200 tickets.” “Wait a minute”, said the farmer, “you said you made $895 but if you sold 200 tickets at $5 each that’s $1,000. After you subtract the $100 you paid me, you should have made $900”. “You’re right”, said the boy, “But when the winner found out the donkey was dead he was a little upset so I gave him his money back.”
