The news is always like: “America has banned wheelchair ramps because they weren’t in the Bible. Finland has made ice cream free.”
COMIC RELIEF
• Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan): I went to the gym but
didn’t work out. It’s the thought that counts.
• Jesse Case (@jessecase): The news is always like: “America has banned wheelchair ramps because they weren’t in the Bible. Finland has made ice cream free.”
• Ben Rosen (@ben_rosen): I don’t think AI should be used to make content…BUT…if there were a way for the Paw Patrol to tell my son by name that if he doesn’t go to bed they will arrest him…
• Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe): The Elon Musk Twitter reign has been like putting Will Smith in charge of The Oscars.
Teacher: “If I gave you two cats and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully... if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: Because I have a freaking cat!”
“There are only two great tragedies in life: one is not getting what you want and the other is getting it.”
– Oscar Wilde
