I cannot defend myself. Guru, please help me. How should I deal with oglers? I am so tensed....
How should I deal with onlookers?
Salaam Guru,
I am a regular reader of your column. I am a college going girl. I belong to a middle class family. I go to college on foot since my college is just walking distance from my home. Normally my brother accompanies me to the college, but sometimes when he is busy, I have to go by myself. And here comes the problem: when I go alone, I feel very nervous as I have to face the onlookers. The zero distance from my home to college becomes a long journey. I don’t understand why people stare at young girls. Don’t they have anything else to do? Guru, I am so uncomfortable with this whole situation. I cannot tell my family about it as my father and brother are really conservative and they may restrict me from going to college. And I cannot afford to leave college because I want to do my graduation. I am shy by nature. Even in college I am reserved with boys and if someone passes a comment, I cannot defend myself. Guru, please help me. How should I deal with oglers? I am so tensed.
Coy Girl
Dear Coy Girl,
Sadly, the structure of our society is such which does not allow girls to walk freely on the streets. Due to our conservative mindset, it’s very difficult for girls to travel comfortably in public transport either. You are not alone who is facing this problem. There are a number of girls and women who face this challenging situation on a day to day basis. That’s the favourite hobby of cheap men as they have nothing better to do. Here, I am not talking about all men. There is this category of men who find pleasure in ogling and teasing girls. However, you should not worry about such lecherous men. You find such men everywhere so the best thing you can do is to ignore them completely. Just treat them as trash and don’t be intimidated by them. Girl, you need to build your confidence. You are a grown up girl now and you need to act smart. Be assertive and try to keep a stern demeanour while going to college. It will save you from unnecessary tension. Good luck!
Say cheese
My Friday is not complete without reading Us and your column is the first thing I read in the magazine. I am a 21-year-old girl. I belong to a middle class, educated family. I graduated last year. Since I am not career oriented and don’t want to study further, I am happily enjoying my time at home, waiting to get married. These days my parents are looking for a suitable guy for me. I happen to be quite a beautiful girl; I have big eyes, black lustrous hair, perfect nose, nice figure and fair skin. Anyone can fall for me but sadly, despite all that I haven’t been able to get a nice boy for myself. It’s not that boys don’t find me attractive. I have had few proposals in last couple of months. After seeing my picture, boys want to meet me but when they come and meet me they really get disappointed. Do you know why this happens? Because of my smile! Yes, I have pale teeth and ugly smile and when I talk or laugh the only thing that becomes conspicuous is my teeth. Till now around four guys have rejected me on this ground. Guru, now I am kind of fed up with this situation. I am not a show piece. I am a girl with emotions. I cannot take rejection any more. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get married. How can I remove paleness of teeth? Please help.
Girl with Ugly Smile
Dear Girl with Ugly Smile,
You must thank God for blessing you with good features and health. You are only 21 and you should not worry about getting married. Don’t fret about getting rejected. You never know what nature has in store for you. You are already a beautiful girl; your only weak point is your teeth which also undermines your smile. Well, you can easily remove paleness of teeth. Your first plan of action should be to brush your teeth more often and in the correct manner. It’s especially important that you brush after consuming foods and drinks that can lead to yellow teeth. Using a paste made of baking soda and hydrogen peroxide is said to remove plaque buildup and bacteria to get rid of stains. Whitening toothpaste may help reduce yellowing of the teeth and improve whiteness. If paleness doesn’t go away, go to a good dentist and seek professional treatment. Good luck!
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