I recall with fondness my childhood years when after dinner my father would recline on his long arm-chair with his favourite Havana cigar… and here he would sometimes involuntarily recite a verse ‘Be-qaul e hasan, jis ko bhata nahin; gaya waqt phir haath aata nahin’ (loose translation: as per Hasan what is not pondered, is that, lapsed time doesn’t make a return).
Then, I knew only that it had something to do with the significance of time. Today it means more than just that. Indiscipline in conversation is a recipe for destruction. An important aspect of focus in conversations or even otherwise is giving due consideration to the person, place and time when either you are about to act or react.
The charming boss, the demagogue who thinks he is listening, fools because he is often, even when his tongue is not in motion, is continually in speech mode. Such a manager proclaims the benefits of a consultative approach towards issues but it is him alone who speaks and all others follow. You would find such managers indulge with impudence their amazing talent for side stepping issues and going around in circles; by such action what is, on display and not recognised by the manager is, that he is evidencing to his troops his inability to be decisive.
The job of a manager is to identify and find the most relevant knowledge. The element of sharing knowledge and information should be at the heart of every discussion. It is only by creating focus on relevant information that a manager can efficiently prioritise his action plans. An intelligent manager absorbs more by listening than by talking. Indecision or indecisiveness would prefer to cold store every single new initiative. If a task is once begun never leave it till it is done; be the labour great or small, do it well or not at all.
It is all about creating focus in life. If you value time and are scared of going into your supervisors’ office, then most likely your boss is a compulsive ‘talker’. You talk to him about the day, he would talk about the night. You mention darkness and he will mention the beatitude of twinkling stars. Both competent and incompetent manager’s self-servingly behave they know all things better than others, hence they keep their ears shut and keep open only, their blabbering mouths. The consequences are, either the decision is delayed, deferred or buried for procrastination to ultimately deliver it to unwanted and unguided results.
Such managers abound in our corporate entities. They simply love to talk with complete disdain to the subject at hand or the agenda. There should be no room for continuous storytelling, no parables or preambles to a discussion, no loitering aimlessly in the courtyard of history and yester years experience; all of these are tools of disengaging from now and here, when the time may actually demand instant decision making.
The one on one meetings should not last beyond twenty (long) minutes. Cut to the bone. Leave the crap. Don’t lend your ears or encourage gossip. Ignore with silence, interrogative remarks like, ‘so what else is happening sir’; “There are lot of rumour of senior management involvements.” Show complete dislike for such provocations. No manager should be tempted to frequently ask about family’s health or the health of his neighbour’s wife! Always avoid familiarity to become dominant and visible for someday, it will ultimately be taken advantage of.
The purpose of a meeting should never be lost. In the course of the ensuing discussions, be wary and conscious to whom you are talking; don’t ever disregard age, seniority and timing. A devious manager who starts with remarks like, lets discuss ‘let’s negotiate within no time would find an excuse to convert the discussion to ‘listen to me’ or, ‘it’s my way or the high way’. They encourage freedom of speech at the meeting and the moment the offer is taken they (deviant’s) ridicule publicly. The intention is to distract. Not to stay focussed.
Never use focussed attention to hurt emotions. Miscommunication is the bed rock in the formation of unbridgeable credibility gap, between managers and their teams. The loss of focus during conversations, creates before you the spectacle of a manager who is dismissive when you press and pursue for focus- time will be gained by which the subject of discussion would have changed or altered. The dichotomy of speech and action became apparent.
William Penn (17th century): ‘speak properly and in few words as you can but always plainly for the end of speech is not ostentation but to be understood if thou thinkest twice the better, before thou speakest once, thou will speak twice of it.’
In conversation, make progress, not discord, victory or an argument. Evil communication corrupts good manners. Corruption and lying go together. He who speaks much of others burns his tongue. Happy is he that chastens himself. He that speaks the things he should not hears the things he would not. A manager must always keep in mind that when you chatter with someone, invariably he will surely chatter about you. It is only because there is a ready and willing audience available for proliferation of back biters.
A slip in tongue can be very costly. Only three can keep a secret, that is when two of them are dead. What is whispered is heard a hundred miles away. A man is safe only when he is alone. Solitude is the nest of thoughts. It applies to managers, businessmen, media personnel and all those who hold a facile pen. Better to be alone than be in bad company.
In focussed discussion the key is recognition that it is subtlety in telling forcefully the truth but only gracefully. Ideal conversation is not about oratory skills or exhibition of vocabulary but is all about exchange of thought. A good talking manager must refine to become good listener. The tale runs as it pleases the teller. Pay more attention to what is done then what is said.
In the ‘way to wealth’ Benjamin Franklin, remarks, ‘do thou love life, then do not squander for that’s the stuff, life is made of’. Napoleon I maxim: there is one kind of robber whom the law does not strike at and who steals what is most precious to men: time.
A younger colleague of mine never shirks to point out to me, the advantages of using 3M ‘post-it notes’. Says the colleagues avoid writing ‘please discuss’, ‘please refer’ or ‘please explain’ on those notes; instead write a decision or your opinion about those areas where you need more input to take a final decision. Adds further and says don’t call people to your cabin at the drop of the hat.
The colleague goes further to say that I waste a lot of time in niceties - a weakness I realise I have gained mastery over. But todays management practitioners demand action, no fluff. Today’s managers are more focused but have little respect for values. A reader can judge best which has durability, manager with values or “a hands-on no nonsense manager”. It is also a fact that including this writer we managers misuse time through defocussed approach and then very loudly exclaim about the brevity and paucity of time. During past few years my working hours have increased by a long stretch of a few additional hours, I am not sure if I am working harder or am I wasting more time through defocussed management style. Judge about your own self and take a focussed approach to life.
The writer is a senior banker and freelance columnist
