COMIC RELIEF

Feeling much better

A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he’s afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the toilet. He knows he can’t climb over him, and so the little guy just sits there and looks at the big guy while trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can’t hold it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy’s clothes. About five minutes later, the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him.

“So,” says the little guy. “Are you feeling better now?”

 

The worker strikes back

A worker approaches his employer and holds up his last wage packet.

“This is two hundred pounds short,” he says.

“I know,” says the employer. “But last week I overpaid you two hundred pounds, and you didn’t say anything.”

“Well,” says the worker. “I don’t mind an occasional mistake. But when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention.”

The balcony man

An usher at a movie theatre notices a customer lying across three seats near the back of the theatre. He tells the customer that he can only take up one seat. The customer just moans and rolls his eyes. The usher goes to get his supervisor who also tells the customer he must only take one seat or he will call the police. Once again the customer just moans and rolls his eyes. The supervisor calls the police, who come and tell the customer that he can only take up one seat. “What’s wrong with you?” they ask. The customer just moans and rolls his eyes. The police officer asks the man, “Where did you come from?”

The man lifts a hand in the air, and says, “The balcony.”