I am a 23-year-old girl. I am doing BS from a good university. My father died when I was 15. I was my father’s favourite and he loved me more than my brothers. After his death, my brothers who used to be affectionate, became distant. My sisters-in-law speak to me only to tell me what they want done. They don’t even let me talk to my brothers alone. I don’t know what I have done wrong, but their attitude is very hurtful. There are no monetary problems, and we have servants also, but my sisters-in-law try to make me do all the work they can. My brothers are very loving and considerate towards their wives, but have forgotten they have a sister. My mother tells me I have to be patient, and once I am married I will be all right. I am engaged to my cousin, R, and will get married after completing my studies. My problem is that I cannot trust any male. When my own brothers changed, how can I trust a man enough to marry him? What if my husband turns out to be bad? Hope you can suggest something helpful.
Dear Disturbed Girl,
Your father was a man, too, and he loved you. You cannot judge all men by the attitude of your brothers. Your brothers are also males, and they love their wives. Just because your brothers have changed so much, it doesn’t mean your husband will be a bad person. It is also possible that you will have a very loving and caring husband. Instead of harbouring negative thoughts about males in general and your husband-to-be in particular, keep a positive frame of mind. Since you are engaged to your cousin, you probably know him well as a person. Utilise the time before your marriage in getting to know R well. Once you establish a comfort level with him, you will stop being scared of marriage. Best of luck!