I cannot stand his female friends
I am a 20-year-old college going girl. I am a student of B.A. (final year). I belong to a middle class, educated family. I am a regular reader of your column. And I really like the way you solve peoples’ problems. Actually, I have been in love with a guy, M, since two years. M is 24 years old and he is a medical student. M is really serious about me and he has promised me that as soon as he clears his M.B.B.S., he will send his proposal. Right now, he is in final year. He belongs to a well-off family. M is very handsome and has a pleasant personality. In his medical college, he is very popular and he is friendly with everyone – both girls and boys. I know that he is sincere with me but whenever I see him talking to other girls, I get jealous. I really love him but I cannot stand his female friends. I want him to be mine only. He has a group of eight friends out of which five are females. They not only study together but they also go to each other’s homes and they even hang out with each other. He really enjoys their company. When he tells me funny anecdotes of his female friends, I really get upset. I don’t want to show him that I am a typical girl, but I am very depressed from inside. Sometimes I feel as if he does not love me at all. I don’t know how to deal with this situation.
Girl in Love
Dear Girl in Love,
No matter how much you want to control your inner emotions, reality is you are an insecure person. Dear, you need to realise that M is a happy-go-lucky type who enjoys life. He is a medical student where mingling of girls and boys is no big deal. You should not feel bad about it. If you don’t want M to think of you as a typical, possessive girl, then you also have to accept his female friends wholeheartedly. Come on, be a sport, you cannot expect him to cut off totally from other girls. At least he is not cheating on you. He is only sincere with you and shares everything with you. What else do you want in life? Dear, the basis of any relationship is trust, and if you want to have a happy life with M then you better trust him. People, who tend to be possessive, often end up as losers. You shouldn’t feel jealous as this negative emotion, if not curtailed now, can be harmful for your relationship in future. Good luck!
I am missing her
I have been reading your column since my college days. I am a 32-year-old guy from an affluent family. I have been a snob all my life. Flirting with girls was fun for me. During my university days there was this girl who was crazy about me. She was a very attractive and simple girl. I also liked her but was never serious about her. She wanted to become my girlfriend but I was so arrogant that I never cared for her feelings and snubbed her. Then one fine day she left the university and I did not even bother. Years have passed and now I am a mature man working in a reputed organization. Life is all good but now I am regretting my decision. Now I have realized that I love her. I want to go back to her. I contacted her best friend and she told me that she got engaged. I am thinking of sending my proposal to her house. She got engaged, not married. I want to give her all the happiness in life. I am feeling guilty. I miss her. What do you suggest?
Dear Mr Arrogant,
I think there is no point in disturbing her life once again. Arrogant and self-centred people like you have to face the music sooner or later in life, but it is good that you have realized your mistake. She has been gone from your life for years now. The fact that you are feeling guilty is because in your heart of hearts you know that you hurt her feelings and broke her innocent heart. Now you want to go back to her but, dear, it’s too late. This is a real world, not a romantic film. You cannot expect her to be waiting for you like a film heroine. I am sure she is happy with her engagement and is settled in her life. Get on with your life, young man, and just pray for her happiness. Good luck!
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