The new zookeeper Peter starts his new job at the London Zoo and is given three tasks. First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this, a huge fish jumps out and bites him to show ‘who the boss is’. Peter beats it to death with a spade. Realizing that his employer won’t be pleased, he disposes off the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
The new zookeeper
Peter starts his new job at the London Zoo and is given three tasks. First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this, a huge fish jumps out and bites him to show ‘who the boss is’. Peter beats it to death with a spade. Realizing that his employer won’t be pleased, he disposes off the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the chimp house, Peter is attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do? ‘Feed them to the lions,’ Peter says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion’s enclosure.
Peter moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now, he knows what to do and throws them into the lion’s cage because lions eat anything.
Later that day, a new lion arrives at the zoo. It wanders up to another lion and says, ‘What’s the food like here?’ The other lion replies, ‘Absolutely brilliant! Today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees.’
Blonde has a serious problem
A blonde says to her psychiatrist: ‘I’m on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.’ Psychiatrist: ‘Don’t you have a phone in your car?’
Blonde: ‘That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing: I put a mailbox in my car.’
Psychiatrist: ‘So how’s that working?’
Blonde: ‘Actually, I haven’t gotten any letters yet.’
Psychiatrist: ‘And why do you think that is?’
Blonde: ‘I figure it’s because when I’m driving around, my zip code keeps changing.’
Grandpa’s relief formula
A grandpa is walking around the supermarket with his grandson who is having a tantrum, throwing things and screaming. Grandpa is trying to keep shopping and he says, ‘Don’t worry, William! You’ll be home soon.’ Grandson is still yelling and screaming and shouting for sweets right to the checkout with grandpa calmly saying, ‘Don’t worry, William! You’ll be home soon.’
As they get to the car and grandpa is packing in the shopping, a lady comes up to him and says, ‘You were very good with the lad in there; I could hear you all around the supermarket talking to him.’ ‘Thanks’ says grandpa. ‘But I think you got it wrong, miss. I’m William, and this is Kevin.’
Compiled by MF
