US

COMIC RELIEF

US
By US Desk
Fri, 10, 20

A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, “I’m a walking economy.”

Walking economy

A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, “I’m a walking economy.”

His friend replies, “How’s that?”

“It’s like this — my hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a deep depression.”

Things to do in an elevator...

  • When people get on, ask for their tickets.
  • When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.
  • Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
  • Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, ‘Hi Mike. How’s your day been?’
  • Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, say ‘that’s mine!’
  • Push your floor button with your nose.
  • Stand alone, and when the doors open tell people trying to get on that the car is full and that they should wait for the next one.

Visit to the museum

Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby.

“This,” she said, “I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?”

“No, Madam,” replied the attendant. “That one’s called a mirror.”