I am 17 years old and am a student of first year (Intermediate). I belong to a middle-class family....
Nobody takes me seriously
Salam Guru,
I am 17 years old and am a student of first year (Intermediate). I belong to a middle-class family. I have two older siblings: one sister and one brother, so I am the youngest in the family. My sister, who is 23 years old, is engaged and is going to get married soon. My eldest brother is 25 years old and works in an office. He has a steady girlfriend. I have no worries in life except for one – nobody takes me seriously. Yes, Guru my siblings treat me like a small kid, though I am a grown-up boy now. They don’t pay heed to my advice. They also don’t share their secrets with me and if I ask, they say, ‘Oh, you little devil, just mind your own business, we know what we are doing’. They mingle with each other or with their friends but they don’t hang out with me. I want to help my sister with her wedding shopping but she does not need my help. She makes plans with her friends sans me. Guru, I want my family to give me some respect but sometimes I feel as if I don’t even exist for them. Please tell me what to do.
Poor Me
Dear Poor Me,
Come on young boy, be a sport. There is nothing wrong with your siblings. Dear, you need to understand that they are a bit older than you and hence they treat you like a kid. There is nothing to feel bad about. In fact, you should feel happy that besides your parents you have two older siblings who also take care of you. Don’t fret if they don’t include you in their plans. See, you are not in their age group, so it’s better if you mingle with your friends who are of your age. Invite them over and hang out with them. Don’t show your dependency on your siblings. And don’t try to give them any kind of advice. They all are mature enough to deal with their own problems. Remember secrets are meant to be shared with your age group. So, you cannot expect your siblings to share their secrets with you. It’s really good that you want to help out your sister with her wedding shopping but girls like to do such stuff with their friends and not with their brothers, so just chill. Don’t think too hard and enjoy this care-free period of your life. Good luck!
I am guilty
Dear Guru,
I am a 21-year-old graduate girl. I am very attached to my older brother. My brother is very caring and loving. He brother, who is 27 years old, works for a multinational and earns well. Since I am the only sister of my brother, I am much pampered. He always brings gifts for me and takes me out for shopping and dinners. But Guru, recently something bad has happened. My brother who used to be so fun loving and lively has become very quiet. Actually, my brother was in a relationship with a very beautiful girl, Z. They both loved each other like crazy. My brother confided in me but somehow, I couldn’t digest my brother’s love. I couldn’t allow Z to come in my brother’s life and I actually played the role of a villain. Yes, Guru, my wicked mind planned a vicious game. I told my bother that Z was my best friend’s brother’s girlfriend before he came into her life. On the other hand, I told Z that my brother was already engaged with his cousin. Z believed me and kept distanced herself from my brother and my brother was angry because he thought Z had hidden her past. Now both are not on talking terms. It’s been three months now. But my brother has become very quiet. Sometimes I think I should have accepted his girlfriend but then I couldn’t tolerate her presence in my brother’s life. I am very disturbed. I want to apologies but my ego comes in my way. What should I do?
Disturbed Sister
Dear Disturbed Sister,
What you did was actually wrong. You shouldn’t have created misunderstanding between your brother and his girlfriend. Since you were used to having your brother’s undivided attention and love, you couldn’t tolerate another woman in his life. Girl, grow up and think maturely. Every relationship has its own charm. Your brother has his own life, too; you simply cannot posses him. Yes, you are guilty and you should go to your brother and apologise; don’t let your ego stop you from doing the right thing.Accept his girlfriend with an open heart; it will make you feel better. Good luck!
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