I can understand your predicament, but you have to take into account the ground realities....
She is like the wind
Dear Guru,
I am a 25-year-old bachelor working in an advertising agency. I have been in love with my colleague, M, who is 22 years old and joined our organization as a fresh graduate two years back. M is very friendly with me and she knows that I have feelings for her. I have even shown my intentions of marrying her; she hasn’t said yes but I know she likes me too. The real problem started two weeks ago when a client came to our agency for a meeting. They were looking for a fresh face for their product launch; they saw M, and they decided to take her as a model for their campaign. M was very happy when she got this lucrative offer. She is from a modern family, so her parents don’t have any objection to their daughter modelling. Last week, M signed a contract with them. Guru, I am not a conservative person, but I have my reservations. I don’t mind if my future wife would want to work and I am liberal enough to allow her to model. But my family is old-fashioned and they will never accept their daughter-in-law from the showbiz world. I don’t know how to stop M from modelling. M is very ambitious. For her, her career comes first and she does not want to settle down at least for few years. My mother is also pressurizing me marry my cousin, B. She is a simple and nice girl. I really don’t know what to do. I am very confused.
Guy in Love
Dear Guy in Love,
I can understand your predicament, but you have to take into account the ground realities, and the reality is that M was never yours. She never told you she loved you and she treated you as a good friend. It is you who has feelings for her. She is young and ambitious and she wants to explore the world. I think she has a right to do so. I know you want to marry her, but then you just cannot tell her to leave everything for you. Sadly, she is not in love with you; she is actually in love with her career which is her priority. So, my dear, don’t feel bad. Let her do what she wants to do. If you want, you can continue your friendship with her but forget the idea of marrying her. You know it very well that your family will also not accept her so what’s the point of going after someone who is in the first place not interested in marrying you? Well, you can consider your cousin B who is also your mother’s choice. You also want a life partner who is not from showbiz. So, rearrange your thoughts and focus on your own happiness. Good luck!
I don’t know whom to choose
Salam Guru,
I am a fan of your column and my Friday is not complete without reading Us magazine. I am a 16-year-old girl. I study in an elite school in Karachi. My father is a businessman. Guru, I have all the material comforts in life but I long for a peaceful life. Actually, I am from a broken family. My father divorced my mom two years back. My mother’s side is also very strong financially. Right now I am living with my father and grandparents, but my mother wants me to come and stay with her. My father is getting married in few months’ time and my mom does not want me to live with my stepmom. Actually, Guru, I don’t want to leave my grandparents. I grew up with them and they were constantly there for me when I was going through emotional crisis at the time of my parents’ divorce. They love me very much and I am closer to them than my own parents. I don’t know whom to choose. I am so confused. Please help.
Broken Girl
Dear Broken Girl,
It is so unfortunate that you are torn between your parents. Normally, parents, after separation or divorce, resettle in their life but it is their children who have to suffer. You are lucky that you have doting grandparents who care about you. I know it will be a tough decision for you to leave your grandparents and start living with your mom, but I think you have to go to your mom’s place. She is right; once your stepmom comes, life will be difficult for you in her presence. You can always visit your grandparents whenever you want. Moving from your father’s place does not mean you have to be disconnected with your grandparents; you can go and stay with them during holidays or whenever you feel like. Stay blessed. Good luck!
